Saturday, February 21, 2015

fall, get back up...

 that is how it can be in life.  decided to head back to prospect heights the other day on the off chance that the top of my walking stick had been left some place and i could retrieve it.  it wasn't...not sure what anyone else would want with it,unless they too had lost the top of their own walking stick.  oh well...
forgot to wear my cleated ice bugs though.  there is very little snow in them thar hills but there is ice.  i was cruising along the trail and then suddenly i was going down.  it was so not graceful and i landed with my newly repaired knee in an off position.
the fear got me more than the actual pain, though there was some discomfort.  i sat there on the trail assessing myself, had i damaged my knee, could i get up, would i be able to walk out on my own?
then i just decided to brush myself off and get up.  it ached a few steps but then i continued on my way.  iced it when i got home.  the knee is still sore at times, but it is healing.
mostly, it's my brain that needs to heal.  you can't let your nerves get to you in these situations. it's so easy to be overprotective after surgery...and necessary, but eventually you just have to move past that.
 seems that way with all this WARIS stuff as well.  so many ups and downs.  i'm learning to accept the low points and really enjoy the highs.  an email and a follow up phone call.  a bit disheartening news but i don't feel the urge to let it take me down just yet.  it's ain't over til it's over.
 the good thing was that i finally have some insight  into how things are seen in the communities near Round Island.  well, not completely, but at least there was a conversation.  don't want all these feelings and opinions to negatively impact the walrus of Round Island.  some of the opinions are decades old, going back to before Alaska was a state amazingly enough.  we do want the same things in general...getting there, well that is where i guess i come in.  it all just makes being a friends/advocate group for this beloved place a bit more complicated. it's good to have all the pieces of a puzzle laid out on the table though.  no way i can make all the people happy, in the end i just want the place to be right and the animals to be safe.  for them to carry on for decades to come.  humans have destroyed so much and we will no doubt continue to destroy much...i want it to stop, if just on this little piece of the earth.
 shadow selfie.  had PT today. i still have not been allowed to graduate...odd how a thing like that kind of weighs on you.  Rio got bloods and urine taken from her at the vet so hopefully tomorrow we will know a bit more about her current symptoms.  work...2 nights.  i ended up on call the middle night.  never got called in, always odd.  otherwise, i worked in PCU which i rarely do and then ER last night. in PCU i worked with this pleasant nurse but she was tedious...just loud and would not stop talking.  people like that exhaust me.  then i had a patient who was also super chatty and insisted on keeping his door open and kept pulling me in to there was no quiet place for me all night.  i need quiet from time to time.
 walks this week were mostly bog walks, i think i did rovers run one of the days as well.
 so not many photo's...may rain this weekend.  boo hoo.  i need to get my stuff together for our board planning meeting tomorrow.  see if anyone has any ideas...what next?
 my feeling is that many in the area resent that the state of Alaska has total control out at Round Island, they (the state)  of course, don't want to pay a dime but they still want to control it.  not much to say there...but then i have also been to several villages and litter is doesn't exactly give me confidence.  i remember paying $50+ to do the "tour" up in Deadhorse.  if you wanted to see the ocean after driving all that way you had to go through the Native corporation.  first you sat through a film telling you how great the oil industry was and then you boarded a bus out to this beach.  they take all the tourists to this same beach, year after year, and yet there are old barrels and scrapes of metal laying about...
couldn't they clear this one beach of garbage...made it hard to believe all the talk that when the oil companies were done with the land it would be returned to it's natural state.  money changes people and ideals.  i understand oil has made life better for many in those northernmost areas of Alaska but walking around Deadhorse all i saw was industry scarring the land and though we took our arctic photo' was sad. i'm not saying there is oil at Round Island or that it will become a garbage dump, but some combination of the human element may work best as a check and balance for all.
grateful for: damage done from my fall this week.  B.  a night off, sometimes i really enjoy a mental health day C.  this silly snoring dog behind me.  hoping all is well with her and grateful that she's been happy here with Blossom and I.

No comments:

Post a Comment