crabby...

 it happens.  stress can lead to crabbiness. i am far from perfect and i refuse to pretend i am perfect.  Tusker looks enveloped in a spirit...hot air from warm pup. 

 too much time with the other humans perhaps. too much feeling like i am not ever up to the standards set. i am a failed being. 

 hit the same trail about a week apart.  so these are from last week before the snow but when the frost and ice were forming.  now we have snow.  those are later in this post. 

 everything is a blur except Ivy's face above.  they zip around a lot.  dogs give me peace, walking gives me peace, writing gives me peace.  everything else can sometimes make me crazy.  reading and photography also give me peace.  thankfully, i have a lot of alone time in my life and a lot of hiking/dog time. 

 i have never fit in.  never felt completely comfortable around the other humans. i have always felt less than the others.  i am part hermit.  i could live in silence, though i do speak to myself.  no voices in my head but mine though. 

 think i needed this weekend away from everyone for the most part.  it's pretty easy to do in my life most of the time.  i no doubt drive those away who attempt to come near me.  don't think I'm usually mean, but i do have a low threshold for idiocy.  i would do best to not act on that though. 

 the truth is not many people really give a crap about your opinion unless it matches their own.  nobody wants to discuss anything. they just want to tell you why the way you think is stupid and the way they think is right.  it's all super depressing where it all is now. 

 frustrating.  feel so powerless at times as we seem to head towards disaster. in truth for the most part we are powerless.  those with money are in control and currently there are so many incredibly greedy people in power across the globe. they seem to forget that they really do need the commoners.  this whole trickle down thing is such a scam.  it's believed though or maybe those who fight for it really just hope that one day they are part of the super wealthy and will benefit from it.  chances are slim.  the ultra rich, stay ultra rich. 

 now the goal is to privatize everything.  pulverize government and make it easier to the super wealthy to control everything and charge us all and keep us permanently in their debt. those who will  be harmed by this don't seem to see it...so they vote for those who are in the pockets of the super rich and there we are.  worker bees who will be annihilated by the wealthy. 

 don't have much hope for being taken care of in my later years, not much hope for retiring at all at this point.  we are morphing into an oligarchy/theocracy.  our lives will be controlled by religious nuts and super rich. 

 so i guess i am in a bad mood. 

 get out and enjoy what we all can, while we can.  they want to destroy parks and nature, they always chip away at it but now they want to mow it down to make more money. 

 starting more wars.  it's not them that actually fight the wars.   like our current.  they find ways out of service...while at the same time expressing how very patriotic they are.  Christians screaming how Christian they are while seeming to forget what Christ taught and Patriots screaming how Patriotic they are while not serving themselves, while walking away from Veterans. 

 it's a crazy time right now. 

 we are back where we were in some ways.  waiting for nuclear bombs to drop on us. 

 that is where my brain is today. 

 waiting for the next bit of bad news.  trying to escape it all. 

 dogs are so free from it all. the wildlife and lands that are threatened at least are unaware that they are threatened.

 happy to have a few more days to process this week. 

 we got snow yesterday.  i still have to purchase new Blizzacks.  those are snow tires.  they are supposed to go on sale at costco tomorrow. driving slow and keeping close to home.  already was sliding around a bit yesterday.

 i think i feel a bit trapped in because of that too. 

 I've been getting little accomplished.  want to do some sort of fund raiser for WARIS but not sure what direction to head.  want to get all my pics loaded to shutterfly and make the calendars.  haven't done that yet.  such a slacker this week.  there is always tomorrow...tomorrow is Monday walk and attempt to work on tires.  after that I'm free though. 

 tongues. 

 my neighbor stopped me to tell me she loves the little free library.  finished a book so i put it out there. the books do seem to move and shift so folks are checking it out.  it's working i guess. it does look pretty cute out there. 

 as you can see we have moved onto snow.  i did a longer walk today.  it was snowing yesterday, today was sunny and so pretty.

 love to watch snow fall from the trees with the sunshine behind.

 great light. ran into a work friend so walked up the airstrip with her.  nice of her to join us. 

 skipped a walk with a friend yesterday.  felt bad.  no blizzacks, the pups were amped up and her big dog wasn't too keen on the pups when they first met.  figured Ivy will jump on him once and he may give her too strong of a lesson.  I'm probably being overprotective but she can be pretty annoying.  sweet but annoying. 

 so i think I'm annoying people as well.  better to hide out for a bit until my crabby self is improved.  people don't like you when you are crabby. 

 that is a down side to single life.  when you are in relationships or in family units they have to deal with you on your good days or your bad.  when you are single you can't have bad days or everyone will just walk away. 

 Tusker must be a heavy breather.

 these were both bigger loops around homestead and then across the side trails back to Rovers run.  debated rovers but there is a lot of frozen puddles along the trail. no cleats on so that could be treacherous.

 settled in and finished a book this afternoon.  always great to chill and read.  it's kind of a teenager book i guess.  "if I fell"?  can't remember. guess they made a movie.  hadn't heard of that either. it was alright.  will start on a new book tonight.

 probably next Sunday night for the pumpkin massacre if anyone is free.  i have 2 pumpkins to carve.  may carve one and make pumpkin bread tomorrow night. then just save the other pumpkin for the massacre. 

 so pretty out.  how can i be crabby? 

 looked back and these clouds were oddly colored. took off my sunglasses and they were still oddly colored.  took a few pictures and yep...still oddly colored. 

 pretty though.

 liked the split tree in front of another tree.

 seemed like a good day to put their scarves on.  quite a few bikers and joggers out.  a pair of joggers passed us twice. they were super impressed when the dogs dropped into positions and stayed as they jogged past. 

 they are doing pretty great over all. Ivy still jumps of course, but i think it's improving a bit.  mostly she just jumps on me now.

 gotta look and see if i can get them into a few classes again.  it's a good winter thing to do and they could use the refresher course. proofing they call one of the classes.  would love to get them their canine good citizens.  i should have gotten Blossom to that level. she was an excited jumper as a pup too though.  i think i figured we wouldn't pass.  Ivy may have same issue.  she was sure jumpy Saturday in the Bass Pro shop. 

 at least they are friendly.  happy that i have no concerns around other dogs or humans that way. 

 the creek has sure changed in a week

 lots of ice forming.  strange too that with the snow this weekend the lakes looked totally frozen over...that ice is super thin still though.

 this is how my little local creek is looking.

 no moose spotted today and no bear tracks seen either.

 they are still out there though.

even though I'm crabby...I'm still grateful  A.  an education that has allowed me to support myself and enjoy words B.  adequate health care when i need it.  C.  those who sign up for the military. wish we could prevent them from actually having to put their lives on the line, but i know that isn't how the world works.  grateful for the many years of relative peace we have enjoyed on our lands here in the USA.  it's a great gift to not have to go through what so many others have endured.  i feel that time of calm and relative safety is going to end.  i pray for those who do sign up for our military.  they do not ask to die, they do not wish to die and when they do we should support those they have left behind.