what is faith?

 apparently it's Stevie Wonder...that according to Siri.  haha.  I've never been all that impressed with Siri.  it's hard to keep the faith some days. at least the faith in fellow humans.  faith in mother nature is a much easier thing.  the sun will rise and the sun will set.  it's not absolute though.  we could be hit by an asteroid. 

 faith in my government.  that is questionable at this time as well.  I'm on a wait and see path there.  nothing is sure but death and taxes they say. that is for sure. 

 as we build towards more military conflicts in  more places across this planet we will face more loss.  we lost 4 soldiers in Niger recently.  it's become a bit of a side show all this other drama.  that is out current potus though, drama, chaos.  many didn't realize we had anyone there and then we hear 4 died.  there are some questionable details, already an investigation as to what happened, why they seemed to have no air support, why the one soldier was recovered a few days later? 

 the current iitoo seems to have fumbled a bit on a phone call to the widow.  Kelly tried to fix it.  started out well, but then he went on and off on a tangent.  does sound like he tried to advise current to just not make the calls.  the current doesn't take advice though.  good intentions?  hard to tell with this potus.  he doesn't really seem to have any good intentions.  he seems to really only have self directed intentions.  it's all a show, it's all about ratings and distracting from reality.

 i can see that what was said may have seemed totally appropriate from one military person to another, but i can see that it would seem pretty cold from one who had never served to a widow.  the advice was to just write a letter, that a call would be tough to pull off...especially i suspect for one as bombastic as this potus. at this point the iitoo should just apologize for any misinterpretation and move on...but he is incapable of apologies and always resorts to defense mode so he makes it worse....

 these are on a weekend trek to Valdez.  July.

 the fireweed is a distant memory now.  everything is brown so it allows me some time to catch up on the summer shots.

 i finished and passed my exam.  i guess that means I'm certified.  not sure i really learned much new, learned how to properly memorize mnemonics in order to pass an exam.  i guess for some it gives them a framework to handle trauma's...but really, it's so far removed from reality that i can't imagine it's all that helpful really.  mostly these books are written by folks who have been away from the bedside so long and perhaps were only at the bedside for short times. 

 experience pays off.  it paid off in Vals case as a PEAT nurse.  it's good to have that experience in a hospital.  there are a lot of young and inexperienced nurses at hospitals and when the crap hits the fan, as they say, those young nurses will turn and look for an experienced nurse for guidance.  some times i laugh because some of these younger nurses can look pretty cocky at the onset...until the shit hits the fan, then their inexperience finds them. 

 hopefully, these classes do help folks with less experience, if for nothing else, it can boost their confidence i guess.  for me, it was just an annoyance that i had to get through for a few days. the instructors were well prepared and did well.  i got no complaints about them....just the systems. 

 we spend too much time in life i guess on the red tape of life. 

 so feeling like i want to relax and put this week behind me. 

 it is cold out there.  dropped this week for sure.  frost, water in dog bowls frozen, lakes freezing up.  winter has arrived...just waiting for snow. 

 went to bed early last night. woke up early...tossing and turning so i figured I'd write and attempt a few more hours sleep.

 the pups followed me in here.  love to watch them sleep. they have such peace when they sleep. 

 i did manage a walk after i finished the class.  i was in a hurry though and forgot my hat and gloves...it was chilly. we just did some time in Kincaid.  i think i dropped the chuck it at the trail head.  couldn't find it when i got home.  can't survive without a chuck it...i will have to hit a pet store and replace that.

 we just stayed overnight in Valdez. tented it.  there are rabbits all over town, domestics gone wild.  my pups were in chase the rabbit mode.  impossible walking anywhere in town with them on leash.

 this was just a quick stroll at the harbor.  always pretty.

 they moved the whole town after the '64 quake and subsequent tsunami.  you can still see some remnants of the old town site. not much left though.

 pretty kayak's....they are always out there.  well used a lot in the summers for tours, I'm sure put safely away at this point. 

 the pups have started snoring.  where will we walk today?  a few more hours sleep and i shall ponder that more. it's been clear most of week. cold but clear.  always bites to be in class when it's beautiful out there.

 a few little free libraries at the Valdez docks.

 one of the local...clearly not wild, rabbits.

 earlier Ivy was destroying yet another indestructible toy.  seems nothing is really indestructible.  i just toss stuff as it gets destroyed.  don't want them to ingest this crap.  amazing how you can discern the difference between acceptable chewing and unacceptable chewing.   i just have dog mom instincts i guess.

 all my electronics seem to be getting older and are probably on the verge of the end.  my TV has been randomly turning itself off and on.  not sure what to make of that. this only happens after I've turned it on.  it's not doing it after i officially turn it off.  that would be odd if it started to do that.

 the pups had a great time zipping around the dunes today.  can never go wrong there it seems.  i do always have a little concern that the big quake will happen when we are out there. the dunes would then become quicksand and we would all be sucked in and suffocate.  do other people have these thoughts?  i mean a huge quake is a possibility and the dunes would be a really bad place to be if/when one happens. 

 more local loose bunnies...you can see how all these rabbits would be very exciting to some doodle pups.

 woke up around 4 i guess...read, played some solitaire on the ipad.  had hoped I'd drift off, but that didn't happen. 

 love all the amazing wildflowers in summers.

 we took a short walk to the beach.  i think i feared i had dropped one of the leashes and then it started to rain so we didn't stay too long at the beach. 

 long enough for the pups to have fun. i think the rabbits are only right in the main town.  once you get out a ways i suspect the wild predators have more access to take them...bunnies that wander out of the city limits are risking their lives.

 a bit wet out but we enjoyed the day and then the drive home.  drives are generally pretty sweet.  i need to get new tires for my car for winter.  i suspect it's pretty packed. we do have snow coming.  it will get really crazy at the tire changeover places once that first snow hits.

 my car is old as well. hopefully, i don't have to replace everything at the same time.  that is usually how that stuff works though. 

 not too many deep thoughts today.  kind of nice to have a clear brain and ramble about nothing really.  my brain has been in overdrive for a few days. 

 overall, life is pretty simple and carefree if you let it be.  i prefer to keep it uncomplicated when i can. 

 that can be tough in this world.  avoidance is your best survival technique sometimes.  i tend to not allow myself to be overcome with emotion...well not allow or i just don't tend to.  the last time i really cried out of control was the night Blossom passed.  crying in public, i just am not one to do that i guess.  doesn't mean i lack emotions or feelings.  not sure i have any underlying reason.  don't think I'm aware of avoiding crying in public, it just doesn't happen. 

 not sure that there is anything to be interpreted from it. it feels strange though, i guess i feel strange when everyone else is crying around me and I'm just not.  i don't judge those who do cry, just feel like i react differently.  often i find i will cry at a different time over something random.  sometimes i just watch a movie that i know makes me tend to tear up if i feel like i am in need of a cry. i mean, i think we all need to have that release from time to time anyway.  work as a nurse i think sometimes means you learn, maybe too well, to hold back your emotions, to release them in a more controlled way at a later time.  i know there are many times over my years working humans and animals that i have just had to nip my emotions in order to focus at the job at hand and let others release their emotions while you are there for them.  it always seems like you have to be strong for others and put the lock down on your own emotions.  maybe when I'm surrounded by others crying it just instinctively makes me hold it together more.  or maybe I'm a bit of a robot.

 guess i shall try for a few more hours sleep. apologies for the mindless rambling post.  just clearing my empty head.  it's worked too hard this week and needed a day off i guess.

thankful for:  a.  each day, each breath, each heartbeat  b.  the love of furry puppies and a sweet kitty  c.  quiet hours in the night, silence, peace, stillness