i have class tomorrow again. can't say that i really got much out of it today. my brain just wasn't in it. was thinking about the memorial before and then after i was just in a big of a fog. came home exhausted and after a few attempts to study i opted for a little nap.
i just took a wee bit of NyQuil and figured I'd blog to clear my head a bit. i rarely have issues sleeping but it's usually because too much is swirling around in my brain. clearing my brain is my best chance of sleep. another co-worker made it through class on little sleep. she has twins and a toddler so she probably rarely gets any sleep so i can't complain. i have class again tomorrow.
after a short nap i was able to study a bit for this class tomorrow. i really only missed one lecture so that worked out. i saw a few from class popped into the memorial for a few minutes. the room was pretty packed. my heart was racing a bit before my talk, but in truth it's a very forgiving group. nobody likes to speak in public and especially in this situation. the most stressful part for me i think was that her family was in the front row and you really just want to say something to ease their pain, their suffering. not that this is really all that possible.
i feel i did as well as i could. i think they really appreciated the poem. i gave her sister the copy i had brought with me, as i went to speak to her, she asked for it, i was already prepared with it. she was really nice. she can go on an Alaskan adventure with me anytime. her father was also really sweet. it was the first time I'd met them. i only had met her daughter briefly before. she was having a tough time but hoping this ceremony helped.
they did a little nursing ceremony at the end which was pretty cool i thought. relieving a co-worker of her duties as nurse. they did a little speech with bells and a candle and then all the nurses funneled through and put a flower on the table by her photo. a few nurses dressed in Nightingale attire..thanks Megan and Gretchen. if there were dry eyes, i think that made the tears flow...just to see so many of her fellow nurses. i think her family was really touched by this...great job to my management crew for putting it together so quickly. nice to see so many of the docs there that we work closely with....i heard they were all in tears as well.
working in medicine is a pretty special thing. your co-workers are more than co-workers. you just go through so much together. so much that others just can't really comprehend. it all bonds you. add to that the time out of work. we all have odd schedules so we end up chilling outside of work a lot too....plus our conversation topics can be about things that, well, other folks really don't want to talk about.
my social skills are never where i think they should be. speaking is just stressful, i knew it wasn't long and i knew that Val would be happy that i made the effort no matter how it turned out...and like i said, nobody else would want to do this so i had a group of supportive listeners. that always helps. thanks Michelle for saving me a seat and being my main support.
thanks also to the ENPC folks teaching that allowed me to take this time to honor a good friend.
Feel free to linger,
For we are not ready,
To set you free,
There are many,
Adventures left,
So much left to see,
We traveled the lands,
We traveled the sea,
viewing bears,
And walrus,
Flowers and trees,
The adventures we shared,
Will stay in our hearts,
Though from this earth,
Your soul will part,
So again,
We invite,
Linger you may,
Stay in our hearts,
Our souls we pray.
that is the poem i wrote/read at the service. always a good idea to end with something like this...that is what most will remember. thankful for the gift of words. not much money in poetry....I'll have to stick to nursing for the moment.
loved this of my friend Libby. Ivy was being Ivy.
no walk for them today. i just felt too wiped out today to load them up. did toss the tennis ball outside for awhile. my neighbor has gotten lots of tennis balls from me...her dogs must be thrilled. clearly, I'm not a good aim or i guess tennis balls do bounce.
will have to avoid the dog park for a bit, the ice is forming on the lakes.
the other day by the bridge i tossed the tennis ball. it hit some ice that i hadn't noticed and skidded out another 100+ feet onto the lake. Ivy made the leap and went through. thankfully, the ice wasn't too thick and the lake not too deep in that spot. she had to crash through ice for a few feet but she came through fine.
there had been a female moose and then on the way back there was a big male moose. obstacles.
on my walk the other day i had accidentally dropped my bear spray. it sprung a leak. lots of coughing and some difficulty breathing. i was able to stick it inside one of the dog poop bags and finish my walk. so the bears will just have to go to bed now. i do have an old can of bear spray so i put that in my pack for these last few weeks of bears.
these are out at Byers cabin. never got Val out to any of these cabins. she did have a great trip to Fairbanks several years back with some other folks. she got some fun northern lights pics at that time. i remember she was pretty excited about that. i saw they had a nice display on the table. i buzzed in and was more focused on my little talk to really look at the stuff until after.
jenga...always a favorite camping game.
stopped by Talkeetna on the way home from Byers.
i think it was the only time i went to Talkeetna this summer.
the NyQuil is kicking in and my head is clearing.
now I'll have to remember all the stuff for this class. it's for another certificate, required suddenly by ER..i guess it's to get our trauma status or keep our trauma status. not sure.
for me it's again review and memorizing silly mnemonics and some order to manage trauma patients that fits the boxes of the course. then i have the written test. i should look over those answers as i drift off to sleep. maybe I'll do that at lunch tomorrow.
below is the bog. haven't been there for a bit. leash walks mostly for much of this. i have been a bit lazy on this. they are doing well off leash...that is why i need to sign them up for more classes. get more on leash training in.
i think they would really start to improve with another class or two.
chatted with my brother. he's been riding me for my Skelly decorations. joking that i may be going a bit overboard. his wife had said she should buy a skeleton for them as a joke...figuring she probably wouldn't...i ordered a target skelly like mine and it arrived today much to their amusement. haha. i had kind of forgotten about it with everything else happening so that made it even funnier today for me.
these skeletons are pretty amusing, i don't know why skelly cracks me up so much but he really does make me laugh as i come home each night.
laughter and simple pleasures...why not really.
these are at Cheney Lake.
i will have to be better tomorrow and get these kids out for a walk after class and before the sun sets. hopefully, i can get through the exam tomorrow and get out of there at a reasonable time.
kids in the bog in the rain.
fall is so pretty....the leaves have fallen. i need to do a few more things before the snow falls..or after. i need to buy new tires and get my furnace checked for the season.
loved Ivy's silly face below. she is a silly pup. she was pretty wound up today.
tougher and tougher to locate the tennis balls these days. my head is clear so i shall retire. the alarms are both set for way too early. rest in peace Val. you will be remembered always and missed.
grateful for: A. friends, support, hugs, laughter...co-workers, kindness B. naps C. everyone who made this memorial possible today. it was much needed by all.
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