another year older...

 not sure if i'm wiser but i am more pissed for sure.  what is wrong with people? another black man was killed by officers.  video looks terrible. i'm sure the excuses will fly, hell they already are.  questionable sites will float conspiracy theories and trash this man.  he is unable to defend himself now because even after he stopped moving the officers remained on top of him bearing down.

 things are different for different people in this nation...our current administration doesn't help...no comfort there really. 

 there is white privilege....it can be tough to see when you are white.  most just enjoy the perks of being white without thinking about what the world is like for others. we all have racism inside of us. those who completely deny it have generally just looked the other way for so long they can't see it anymore.  it's just something we all  need to be aware of and push back.  those little stereotypes we have about each other. it's just that whites have the power to back their views and the others really don't. we have the history and the power that mean we can get away with bad behavior. others do not. the history is bad...just take a look.  much of it is lost because history is written by whites,  so the ugly stuff tends to get left out. that is privilege as well.  having control over the history.  altering it...there is a segment that is still pissed they lost the civil war i guess.

 i was taught as a child in Sunday School "white and delightsome" that the blacks were black because God made them black due to sins of their fathers...which even as a child seemed ludicrous and unfair. i was also baffled when the church turned around and accepted blacks as priesthood members and they weren't going to become white and lose the mark of sins of their forefathers.

 for as closed minded as i've been called, i have completely turned from pretty much everything i was taught. i left the church, my social and political views have drastically changed. i'm not the one who was closed minded...how else could i have possibly changed my mind on so many things if i was.  it makes no sense. easier to lash out at me than to look at the crazy crap we were taught and ask a few questions. 

 i have come to find that some need answers and they need them to make sense and others are much better at relying on a thing called faith.  i think faith without logic falls short though. if enough makes no sense then you  need to ask more questions. the standard to that was always, there are things we can't understand in our mortal state but will be made clear after we die.  i just didn't want to take the chance of wasting my life following one path that seemed illogical to me.

 i know officers and i know there are always two sides, but this crap happens over and over and there is video on this from several angles. one wonders if these officers would do this with cameras on them in day light, what will they do when there are no cameras.  i know the adrenaline kicks in and it's easy to get hyped up when others are hyped up.  i've seen our security guards with patients even who are flipping on drugs or just literally bat crap crazy. you can see them amping up.  there needs to be a calm head in there to help pull folks back from the brink.  to prevent them from allowing their adrenaline to get the best of them.  in this case it looks like the adrenaline won, there was no voice of reason. 

 it seems to happen far too often, especially when it's someone of color. far too many of these incidences and i can hear all the excuses i've heard over and over when these things happen.  just like all the excuses every time there is a mass shooting.  some folks will never concede....so the rest of society has to get louder until their excuses are finally drowned out.  until a more rational, kind and decent society re-emerges.  we are better than this.  we should want to be better than this.

 moreover, i would think all the really decent, hard working officers would really want to make sure the officers who can't control themselves or just do stupid shit would be weeded out so that they can do their jobs with the respect and dignity and support of society.

 of course, i would think that officers would want some semblance of gun control so that they aren't facing these weapons on the street...

 so what do i know.  i do know there are too many of these incidences and they are pushed aside too often and too quickly.  i'm all for giving officers the benefit of the doubt to a degree, it's a tough job but society has limits to what it will take from officers.  there are boundaries.  he hadn't just robbed a bank and taken hostages, he'd forged checks...

 sadly, its money in our society. you have enough you will get better treatment in the system and less time for the same crimes.  today it occurred to me that trump may just pardon these officers before he leaves office anyway...

 worked all my shifts again this week.  just two left, PCU and then ICU. place is getting back to normal busy. we had 13 covid positives yesterday i think it was today was back to 5. hoping it's just a fluke. there won't be as many tourists but i know as the planes start to take off they will come and now the Governor is not re-upping the 14 day quarantine, he's getting his GOP brain back.  thankfully, he seemed to listen to reason and science at the start of this. 

 i did the dog park a few days.  yesterday included.  just easy and i was actually pretty tired after all those nights yesterday. 

 Birthdays in the time of covid are pretty chill i think. i had low expectations, which is the best way to live life anyway.  several calls with family and friends. so that was nice. facetime with some CA friends that went into the late evening.

 today i walked with my friend LS.  always great.  we did the Campbell Airstrip.  later i did a loop around the Baxter Bog by my house...sans dogs. there is another mama moose defending her young in there.  lots of signs out so she must have gotten pretty close to taking someone out this time.  i've been chased by the Bog mom a few times.  she doesn't take any chances.  she will hunt you down. 

 may be some private cars having access to Denali Park road.  the buses are taking a year off i guess or part of the year? sounds like they are making some changes for this year anyway.  could be fun .

 we are now at over 100,000 deaths.  not like the flu...aside from a much steeper curve here.  these deaths have happened over a few months not an entire season.  flu has a vaccine and it also has a set of symptoms that are fairly reliable as well as testing that is reliable and a treatment plan that is reliable.  it's predictably unpredictable.  Covid is just unpredictable. the tests are unreliable and the treatment plan is being created on the fly.  not to mention....Covid appears to transmit even when symptoms aren't evident...so not the same.  my head wants to explode every time someone says that crap.

 many of our AK tourism jobs tend to be filled by folks who come from out of state.  the cruise lines are out, at least for the first half of the summer.  i doubt they can get up too much for even the latter half. would be tough to staff the hotels/buses and all that in short time for a brief season.

 there is a young gray whale up Turnigan Arm..or there was the other day. not sure if the little guy made it out.  he was all the way up to twentymile river. not looking good for the whale.  separated from it's mom and all. big tide on June 2....they are hoping he gets out, but we did have two dead whales in there last year. 

 it's a rough world out there for animals.

 protesters in Minneapolis  and things got violent.  often in these situations, others, not related to the protesters stir up other trouble.  there were folks dressed in black with gas masks who were seen breaking windows and starting fires.  looting happened. people will take advantage of the mayhem and may others just are pissed off.  my one brother pointed out that the Boston Tea Party included some illegal activity.  that sometimes people try to get their point across so many different times and ways, eventually breaking the law feels like the only way to be heard.

 sadly, when it's whites that break the law...like storming state houses with high powered weapons...they are given space, given a pass and called "nice people" by the current iitoo.  if they are black they are called thugs and told that shooting will follow looting...an old 60's quote.  i'm not sure trump would have known the reference that he used in his tweet, but i have no doubt those around him did..i suspect Stephen Miller helped forge that particular tweet. 

 trump is pissed because there was a notice by twitter that his post encouraged violence i think it was. he came out with an executive order threatening twitter after they fact checked him.  he also stated today that he's pulling the US out of WHO...in the middle of a pandemic.  what an idiot.  i do not believe he can do that on his own...

 i really feel badly for anyone who follows him.  the GOP with this idiot have made mincemeat of our government in short order.  those rule of law folks have flouted the rules and the laws. 

 on good news many have opted to adopt pets during this time home.  i wasn't the only one.  my little kitten has worked out perfectly so far.  i am quite in love with little Covid Cat.  i wonder how many have Covid related names. i suspect i'm not alone in that either.

 a selfie with Covid Cat

 mosquitoes were out in force today.  thankfully, LS was prepared. i wasn't!! she shared.  they still got a few bites in. 

 i head to Homer again for a few days this week. 

 always miss these kitties but they should be fine for a few days. 

 these two will accompany me there for some needed beach time.  :-)

 Covi Kitten doing some pole dancing.

 did a crock pot roast yesterday for the Birthday meal. 

 had debated a drive but i was actually kind of sleepy so i just came home for a short nap.

 they are offering testing at the airports, especially for out of state workers, which seems like a good option.

 so the native hospital has the drive up testing place by the dog park and it looks pretty sweet.  they have even added an actual building...like a drive through coffee place.  today i drove past the prov drive through testing site.  not much there. a place for cover that is smaller than an outhouse. 

 the rest are still from my last trek down to Homer.  hoping to hit a few different areas maybe....see if i can find the tidepools. :-)

 while we were hitting 100,000 deaths...trump was out golfing.  he has had very little to say as far as making any attempts at consoling those who have lost folks.  if asked he just gets defensive.

 the pool is open at the YMCA for lap swimming only, which sounds perfect to me!!

 i have yet to see any of these baby moose that have been dropping all over the place.  just the signs saying the mama moose are pissed off

 hopefully, there are still lots of stars out there.

 i think i will have rain to contend with, but that is okay.

 the old boats are always a favorite.  the same places always look different...especially up here as things change so quickly.

 looks like another big ice berg dropped off of the Portage Glacier. i'm debating a hike in Hatchers Pass tomorrow...but the Portage Pass could be good too...depends on the weather in the morning i think.

 trump has been telling his cult followers that "the radical left is in total command and control of facebook, instagram, twitter and google"  and that hes working hard to fix this....so crazy but so many believe all the crap he says...the other faithful on the right just ignore all he says and tweets.  they instead only care about what he does...instilling judges, being tough on immigrants, getting rid of any environmental oversight regulations...

 need to check on Covi.  he's stayed in yard as far as i know.  whenever i check on him, that is where he is.  i think he likes it here.  hope he does. 

 a few more ships, these are not on the spit..

 guess i shall get off this computer and see what is in the package from China i got today.  more masks?  not sure

thankful for A.  days off B. new plants, thanks TO.  my garden is looking up C.  family and friends calls, texts, cards and fb birthday greetings.  :-)