being subtle is not my strongest quality...

 

these are still from the summer. will have to toss in some winter shots here soon i guess. i'm hopelessly behind on posts...but i have less words of late. Byers Lake above on a warm day.

finished my three nights of work.  lets see if i can recall...PCU, ICU then ED holds.  it is funny that i have a hard time remembering where i worked the last three nights...that is pretty usual these days though. you walk away and you just close it up. 

i had several moments of frustration on that last night.  i was verbal about it.  it was quite frustrating actually.  there were two of us doing holds in the back area.  there were 12 patients and we were each assigned 4. there were also 3 ER staff nurses back there...so you do the math and two nurses were started with heavier assignments. 

finding and getting report was a bit of a cluster. the regular staff member opted to keep one of hers rather than give it over, which i did appreciate.  

seemed every time i got a patient moved to a bed upstairs there was someone who came up to me saying they were there to give me report and the patient was already being moved.  now, i think it's much more respectful to give me a call to ask how i am and if i'm ready for another patient. i also did tell the charge later that if they are slammed up front to let me know that and i can do what needs to be done.  

my first patient also started to rip into me because he had a headache and as i was trying to assess and do what needed to be done he was being a twat.  in the end he figured out i was trying to help him and that i knew what i was doing.  he spent the rest of the shift apologizing and thanking me.  

it is hard for all of us...but the negative we say and do sticks to us much more powerfully than the positive. it's not fair, but it is the truth. 

Thanksgiving.  well it was pretty much just another day. my sister called and today my brother in Boston called me.  otherwise i got a few text messages.  one from the one brother that has never apologized for his nasty words to me.  i'm not keen on just going on like it's not happened. i feel like others have enabled some of this and always seem to support.  i'm in the tough love mind set at this point. life is too short to allow others to get away with treating you poorly. 

at some point you must decide what you will accept. age, covid, his actions....all these things combined to just make me opt out at this time. i only respond in the group text of all siblings.  that is what i decided is best. a friend did this with a couple who had broken up and i thought it was quite brilliant. 

these are mostly still the mine.  the flowers were just so pretty that day. 

did hit Ruth Arcand the last two days for some rock time. found a few, missed a totally cute frog rock...the kid got it.  that family has many of this one rockers, rocks. i must have followed soon after he came, i'd gotten a gorilla rock he'd done so i left the one i found, then i saw his post later that he'd dropped a frog as well.  so the same girl that gave me her sad puppy eyes for the snow leopard rock, found the frog...dang those cute kids! i joked perhaps next time i saw her i'd have to give her my sad eyes.  :-)  

did a bit more painting tonight.  will have to crash soon. 

my friends from work had worked the night before the holiday so they got up late and made a late Turkey meal, then kindly brought me a plate of delicious turkey/gravy/taters and stuffing.  :-)  so that was my Thanksgiving.  i did get the Skelly crew changed over to Christmas

my cards and calendars have arrived.  will send to my siblings, all of them.  i believe i made my point last year.  not sure any points ever get through. i move on as i can but also do not allow myself to accept the treatment as normal.  you can't hold it inside.  you have to move on, that doesn't mean you forget it all and be a fool.  

catching up on the latest Great British Baking Show. they have quite the finalists it appears. he just handing out 3/4 handshakes in the signature.  the German/Brit has had so many wins week by week, but he's the only one who didn't get a handshake...what will happen!!

Portage...below you can see folks walking out on to the unstable snow pack.  

love the color of the glacier fed water.

the rocks have become a sort of therapy, the painting.  

the people are many in a fb group so i've gotten to know a few, run into a few on the trails.  just rocks, no politics, no work. it's just a nice break from the day to day.  

the hunt for the rocks has helped me get moving and out on the trails when covid and the stress of it all had made me start to have less enthusiasm to get out.  

i do also want to not get too caught up in the rocks. i need to wander various places and see the other areas of beauty out there.  it's easy in the winter to get in a rut.  especially until the light begins to return again. 

virgin falls.  there are beautiful places in the winter as well.  longer drives not as worth it because of the fewer hours of work. 

we laughed in the ICU the night i worked there.  less covid at the moment but we are back to many of the usual drunks and drug addicts we used to have.  at least it's familiar.  such a waste of a precious life. they all seem to have kids...that is the most frustrating part.  all the kids who have addicted/alcoholic parents.  it can't be easy for them. 

the thing too about that last night in the ER...two of the nurses are FEMA nurses who we all know are getting paid much more than us...so to see them sitting around with 1 or 2 patients while i was getting slammed just added to my annoyance.  it's a double edges sword.  we needed the help but how do you not feel a bit resentful when they are getting paid so much more for the same work.  

pinterest is my go to place for rock ideas.  sometimes i do better than others. i do think the rocks are looking much better than they have. i think i have always really liked the paddlers i've done though. fun to explore other designs and ideas and then add my touch to it.

flowers, flowers, flowers....

i did buy a small turkey today.  will hopefully be able to cook it Sunday or Monday.  let it thaw a bit in the freezer. still like to have a few more turkey meals during the holidays even if i don't ever have a big festive event on the specific days.  holidays are just different when you are single. 

a favorite flower is the states flower, the delicate forget me nots below.

like all the antiques and old building/cars at the mine.  great photo ops

we got a bit more snow, warmed a bit and now we are back into a freeze.  i did forget to plug in the car. i can plug it in a few hours before i leave though.  i have already forgotten to  unplug and drove off...luckily it worked out okay. the car, the cord and the plug are all intact.  i also need to call AAA and get the Element a new battery.  

rain forest, moss covered trees.  so pretty

i did miss a walk between shifts one day.  i slept much longer than i usually do and it has always been okay to miss one dog walk, the dogs may not agree with that. 

fireweed.

more reflections

i guess it's almost 2 am...probably time to sleep. where to walk the beasts tomorrow. always the question. 

glaciers and waterfalls coming off the glaciers.  

will we survive it all.  will relationships broken ever be mended again?  covid has made a mess of so many things. politics took care of the rest.  well, perhaps it's the other way around...politics made a mess of things and covid just kicked the mess all the way over.

moose tracks

that is a wrap....

something good about myself...my painting skills are improving.  thankful for: A.  friends who stopped by for a little single chick and brought me a Thanksgiving meal. B. the pretty rocks i find and the pretty rocks i paint C. walks between shifts.