so say i anyway. i turned 45 today. the older i get the less i care about the whole birthday thing. i mean the celebration of. i like getting the well wishes and a few cards and calls as much as the next gal, but i like a peaceful day overall. today was just such a day. i went for a walk with a friend and our dogs in the rain, took a nap, talked on the phone for a few hours and finally joined a friend for a dinner out at outback. haven't been there forever and ate way too much. we stayed several hours and just laughed.
i have a few gift cards for amazon so i'll need to peruse that lovely online store again. i was on last night and tried to outfit my new camera with an extra battery and lens cap holder, but they would ship from someplace other than amazon and that about doubled the price of said items. so i selected some books and then just gave it up for the night. who would think i'd reach a point in life of having no real needs. i have too much "stuff" already and i pity the person who one day has to go through it all if i haven't weeded it down by the time i leave this earth. hopefully, i have a few years before that becomes an issue. i have a gift card for body shop as well so i'll have to get over to the mall. i obviously don't do that very often as that gift card is from christmas. i love the stuff at the body shop. my big gift i bought for myself, or i could say the dogs bought it for me....though neither has a job. i call blossom my "guard dog" and rio is "the enforcer". so that would be thier jobs...aside from general giving of attention and that of jesters of the house.
rio is all full of tiny bumps from mosquito attacks. those bugs have gotten very thick this week. can't stand the little buggers and have nearly had many car wrecks trying to rid myself of mosquito's in the car. one mosquito can quite un-nerve me.
i failed to mention the last picture in yesterdays tutka installment was to show how much ash was on the mountains down there. of course, i was baffled for a bit as to why the mountain tops were white, but then it occured to me that it had probably snowed at the tops since the volcano blew.
played a bit of the mediator as usual. most of my family is mormon and then one brother is gay so the gay marriage issue can be a bit of a hot topic. exchanged some emails with jeff as it seems he's been getting pretty rankerous with a few of the other siblings. i figured he'd be pretty upset about my response...emails can get pretty out of control i've noted. i can be a little frank in expressing my opinion on matters. we did have a good talk today about it all. i listen and put in my two cents. neither side will ever totally agree with the other so how does one find some sort of peace in the middle. i may never know, but at some point you just have to accept that there will never be agreeance and forge ahead. i do think he gets worked up over things and goes on the attack...it is always amazing how as you grow older you tend to grow apart at some level. at least that is how it's happened in our family. i left the church in my early 20's and that definitely put some space between me and my siblings. the church is a strong social institution and not being a part of it creats a divide that will never really be bridged. time and distance further the gap. i try to call and keep in touch. with several siblings this is simply me listening to them. i'm always amazed at how little they know of me and my life. i know it always saddened my mom that we weren't one of those close families. a few siblings rarely make the attempt to keep in touch. life gets busy, people get involved...it's work to keep those lines of communication open and easier to just let the ties that bind unravel and fall away.
i suspect society will eventually pass the gay marriage laws...it really just seems the fair and just thing to do. nothing happens quickly in a society so one must be patient to some extent with the process. some things take generations. gays have made a great deal of progress in a short time, while blacks and females and such still struggle with thier rights and liberties. he got his earful from me because he once again brought up the nazi germany comparison. i really get annoyed by this sort of comparison...we really have lived a cush life in the states for many years....it's just beyond our grasp to comprehend what others in the world have endured who have lived in active war zones. i find it offensive and belittling to compare our struggles to anything those poor people endured.
watched a show on cults last night which is always just fascinating to me. how reasonable and intelligent people can get lured into these bizarre cults is just wild. amazing how much power one individual can have on those around them. also watched my netflix, "after the marriage"...hell i think that is the name. i enjoyed it. probably wouldn't watch it again, but it was interesting. not the story i had expected, but kept me watching to find out what would come of it.
i've been listening to my solitudes cd's as i write. i love the set of them pachelbel, bach, mozart and beethoven. i used to play them at work when i had ventilated patients. just so relaxing. the noise of all the icu machines can be really loud...thought it may be nice to have something else to listen to. hopefully, the pics will load soon and i will crawl happily into bed with a book, a few cats and two dogs...well rio will sleep on her feather bed on the floor. blossom really just chills for a bit on the bed before heading back downstairs.
45 years...i'm not some huge success, i've never married and i've never had kids. i suppose this would all make me a failure in the eyes of many in society, but i'm happy in my little world that i've created. i love living in this amazing place and am constantly awestruck by the beauty that surrounds me. i have been blessed with the health and ability to get out to remote parts of alaska and get to be mesmorized by the sights and sounds. a have a great many friends and aquaintances who bring me great joy. i've been blessed with great animal companions as well. i do love my family despite the sometimes disconnected lives we lead. i've really enjoyed watching my siblings kids grow up. life is simple, but it has it's little joys if one is willing to listen, look and feel....