Monday, November 14, 2016

11 is a bad age for least if you live in my house.

 Blossom remains hospitalized at this time.  she has been having issues and we've been trying to figure out what is the cause of it all.  the excessive drooling, the bad breath, the gurgling, the hoarse voice, the elevated wbc count...had finished the steroid run she was on Friday, it has seemed to help and by Saturday evening she seemed to be worsening again.  i tried to get her to eat and she wasn't interested in her kibble so i figured i'd see if she wanted wet food.  she acted hungry as i fed her from my hand basically.  she ate 2 cans.  i then decided to give her some turkey as i'd cooked up a breast in the crock pot.  she seemed to take this no problem.
 15-20 min pass, i'm watching tv and she is around the corner sleeping by the front door where she likes to sleep.  she comes walking towards me and she is totally unsteady, barely able to stay on her feet...she is foaming at the mouth and had blue mucous membranes.
 i reached in and grabbed some turkey bits from her oral cavity and she's looking worse so i do some dog heimlich maneuvers on her.  her airway clears a bit. i try a sweep but got nothing.  so i quickly loaded all dogs in the car, cause that seemed easier than trying to settle the pups in.  i zipped as fast as i could to the emergency clinic and rushed her in saying she can't breath, you need to take her right back.
 they found more turkey in her oral cavity so hopefully that means my little interventions at least made it so she could cough the turkey up.  she does seem to have a aspiration pneumonia and still we don't seem to know what the cause of this is.  seems more and more that she is having difficulty swallowing, but why?  tumor?  neurologic disorder?  i have no idea.
 she was on oxygen all night and got weaned off this morning.  they let me go back to see her before i left for the night last night and she looked better in the oxygen but still had retractions.
 went to see her this afternoon and she had been eating in the morning but not in the afternoon. i just mixed up some burger and rice and thought i'd head over in a bit and see if she will  eat some for me.  she looks a bit better but was still  breathing fast and not wanting to take more than a few treats from me.  i'm, of course, anxious to feed her anything scared that she will not be able to swallow it correctly and end up back where we were.  my poor girl.  she just turned 11, it's a jinx age for dogs in my life it seems.  i'm not ready to lose her though.  sweetest girl...she is just the most amazing dog!!
 i'll keep you posted and i'm hoping for a positive outcome here.
 the rest are out at Hallo Bay.  mostly scenery.  seems like we just chilled this afternoon for a bit, enjoyed the day and sunshine.
 i think we had just learned we weren't going anywhere.  worked 3 nights, 2 in icu.  the first in the ER.  some jerk in the morning, drunk of course.  he was in pain  but i'd say overly dramatic.  yelling that his pain was probably like a woman given birth and that the "sugar pills" i gave him weren't helping and that if he were having an actual baby he'd get an epidural. i  pointed out to him that most women across the globe get no pain meds or epidurals for their deliveries and often times they head right out to the field to work again.  basically, i was short of sympathy at that point .
 picu ended up very stressful the last night.  loss is tough at times, especially with the little ones.  the pain is palpable in the family and there is no way to separate yourself from that pain.  your heart takes it in and wallows in it. i think part of the heartache and heartbreak is the total inability to help those who have suffered the loss of a child or grandchild.  i can't make it better.  you offer tissue and a chair and some food and drink...but you know as well as they do that it will not diminish the pain one iota.  everyone around you feels that pain, suffers the loss with them.  i'm pretty good at keeping my emotions in check having been a nurse for many years, but comes to me in one form or another.  the emotions came out along with my fear of losing Blossom at the vet clinic.  i was not going to be able to stop crying.  thankfully i got hold of a friend who was getting off work and it was easy for her to just come sit with me.  thank you SH.  i have so many wonderful friends and i'm grateful always for the support and kindness they show me.  often i feel unworthy of the blessings i have in this life.
 a Vet friend, CR, spoke to me after i returned home for some time, trying to help figure out what was going on and what to do next.  have had several lovely calls, texts and notes on facebook.  thank you all.
 the state of our nation is also on my added stress.  the cabinet and advisers and looking more and more like a nightmare.
 facebook has been pretty nuts.  those who voted for Drumpf are now feeling upset that they are being classed as racists or haters.  many aren't haters, i know, people had different reasons for voting for him.  had a really good talk with a few siblings...i of course, was very selective in who i started out calling...i called the more easy to talk to ones.  sadly, his election opened the doors to the haters.  he was supported by the KKK and white supremists.  his whole crazy birther crap made him a hero to these horrible people and when he was elected they took this as a sign that their time had come.  rally's are being held in celebration that one of their own is in office.  finally, they are free, in their minds to speak and act more political correctness. oddly, when you really think about it, being politically correct means kindness.  i guess it's tough for humans to be kind sometimes, they'd rather say rotten things about the others on the earth.  or perhaps...they are not educated enough to speak of other things.  i always thought that an odd thing to be angry about...and yes, i know it gets a bit over the top.  i used the word "stupid" in the gym one day...not even directed at anyone in particular, just a general statement and this women looks at me and says, "i don't think we need to use that kind of language".  was happy i didn't drop an f-bomb, which i kind of thought she would find less offensive.
 i think it is not only important to let people around you know that no matter who you voted for you are not for the hatred that he ran spewing.  to some i think what he said was just words that he didn't really mean or something.  for other, more like myself, we took those words to mean something.  we took them to be more of a literal  truth of his beliefs.  it's important as well in my mind for those who elected him to own it, to do their part to put down these elements that have become so empowered by this and are rising and making their presence known.  write to Drumpf and others in office in your party and let them know that you do not want the Republican party to be known as the party of the KKK.
 for those who are shredding those who are out protesting.  as long as it is civil and not violent, i would not judge.  that man did say some heinous things and went after every sort of person.  they do have a right to speak out and they have a right to be afraid.  please do not mock those who are scared.  fear is real and i believe some of them have reason to fear.  it may be unfounded in some situations but irrational.
my first night back to work was after the election.  in the huddle before we start our shift some nurses started mocking the protesters.  i could see a face in the room that looked scared and stressed.  the person is gay and married.  i could see the tears in her eyes.  i kept back and went up to her and asked her how she was doing, how her family was doing.  the tears flowed a bit more at this point.  i was happy to have at least been able to comfort her.
now i did see there was a nut job that dropped his pants, crapped and then picked it up and smeared it on a Drumpf statue i think....i think we can all agree that is deplorable.
 if Drumpf hadn't won there would have been protesting in the streets as well, so i guess i'm saying lets not be judgemental....i mean there were Drumpf supporters who were arming and preparing for a Revolution.  there will always be folks who climb into protests/rallies that in truth they are probably looking for a fight.  protest on.  it's how we do things in the states to let our voices  be heard...especially when we feel our voices haven't been heard.  this was a nasty and close election and we are not as a nation going to turn around and be sunshine and butterflies about it all.
 rough road ahead though.  i still think part of him just did this randomly and then he started to dig it.  read somewhere that he really loved the rally's and the crowds and wants to continue doing that during his candidacy.  sadly, it would seem that he possibly did do this more for self entertainment and ego.  i suspect he has little interest in the work that it takes to run a nation.  he will no doubt leave most of that to his staff, which is looking a bit scary to me.  thankfully, i'm reminding myself that the guy went through 3 campaign managers and will probably have a pretty fluid cabinet.  i mean anyone who disagrees with him will be booted.  he's back on twitter.
 so a stressful actually feels like a month or more.
 should start planning summer adventures...of course, these vet bills may limit my summer fun.  the girl is worth it though.
 pups are good, missing their friend Blossom.  no walks for a few days.  hit the dog park today.
 i am out of words..time to see about a late night visit to my girl.  wish i could bring her home.  wish we knew more of what is wrong with her.
 liked these clouds and used them in a few pictures.
 here i practice tossing rocks and catching them mid air

 out camp, with an otter skull out front.
 an Anchorage police officer was shot multiple times. sounds like the officer will be okay and that the guy who shot at them is dead...i'm okay with that. rather the police officer hadn't gotten shot, but if it happened i'd rather the person who did it not see another day.  they are the good guys for the most part and deserve our support and compassion.
 will keep you posted on Blossom.  thanks for reading.  have a great day.  be kind to one another.
thankful for:  A.  the kindness in the world  B.  great vets  C.  my sweetest girl Blossom.  hoping i can help make you feel better.  love you girl!!

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