Sunday, November 20, 2016

the walks continue....sadness remains...

 these guys won't let you be idle and they certainly will put a damper on sadness.  Ivy seems pretty intent on stomping on me in the mornings to prevent me from staying too long there.  on walks i have several times called for Blossom or called Ivy or Tusker, " Blossom."
 still putting food in 3 bowls instead of two now that Blossom is gone. they want to eat out of her bowl.  the big pink bowl has been around for several dogs.  it's a classic.  i guess it's a right of passage.  but i have 2 puppies and the one bowl that seems to go to the eldest dog.  so far they seem content to share.  not sure that Butch ate from this bowl but Huey did and then Blossom.
 these are from a beach walk on Tuesday.  SH joined us.
 it is odd to not have any medications to give to any pets at this time.  it seems like i always have meds to pass out.  i think the last time i didn't have meds was back after Huey passed and before Rio came and then for a short bit after Rio arrived...of course, i suspect that the cat Mufasa was on meds through that.
 strange for me to think that if i  hadn't gotten these two guys right now i'd be down to 1 cat.  can't say that i have ever been down to one pet.  we always had them growing up and i always have had multiple pets as an adult.
 out picking up poop today...had to laugh as that is one thing from Blossom that will be around until spring.  several have gotten frozen in there and won't be free again until spring.  that is how it goes in AK.
 have concerned myself often over this past week that Blossom was alone in her final moments.  was she scared? in pain?  the way i guess i'm dealing with this is to remember that i had an extra day with her.  she found some way to come to me, half dead on Saturday night.  i was able to recover her and get her to help, which allowed us another few visits.  both times she looked like herself again.
 maybe it's best that the last thing she probably choked on she didn't get from me.  she was under the vets care. i'm not knocking them at all.  just saying, there would possibly be more guilt if i had fed her that last meal.  the tech i spoke to that night seemed smitten.  that was Blossom.  if you met her, you fell under her charm.  she would go from person to person at the dog park leaning in for a good petting, she mostly ignored the dogs.
 it is almost 1 week since she left us.  i am still sad.  waves of sadness at times, eyes moisten.  i will miss her for a long time...there are moments that i still think of Rio and miss her and that was a year ago.  i won't dwell though and hopefully, they will be happy thoughts and happy memories.
 liked their shadows.
 footprints in the mud.
 called out the first night of work, then called to ask for an on call the second night.  i got a call right before i headed over and my wish had been granted.  the house sups knew i was calling out to grieve my dog loss.  they were understanding and supportive of this.  not many jobs in this world would be so i am grateful to them for their kindness.
 i did manage to get through Friday night.  worked the ICU.  pretty basic patients there, lots of hugs, some tears which i held back so i wouldn't lose it at work.
 we have walked each day.  alone after this walk.  there is another dog out there with us i'm sure.
 i have 2 young dogs...will have to take advantage of that.  should have 5-6 years of good hiking...unless i end up with an injury.  hopefully, that doesn't happen though.
 we walked over 4 miles today and the puppies are currently wrestling behind me.
 they love sand and digging and running around and digging.  getting dirty...i'm not opposed.  actually today i put some more food coloring on Ivy's coat.  she can carry color well and it made me smile and it makes others smile seems to make folks on the trail less annoyed by her jumping.  it's like a warning.  crazy dog out here.
 these are from a day walking out N. Biv.  the pups are still learning what it's like to walk on ice.  funny watching them slide all over out there chasing the toys.  no further tennis balls located.
 yesterday we hit the coastal refuge off of Reef Pl and today we did some hiking up at Prospect Heights trails.
 finally getting to some laundry and got groceries.  gotta pay some bills.  just had to take a few mental days off.  often just laying about looking at pictures of Blossom.  i have many pictures of her.
 these guys are now my photo subjects along with Alaska in general.
 the pups discovered wrestling on the ice is a bit trickier than on land.
 gotten a few good run sessions in though.  they make me smile and they make me laugh, which is much needed.
 no plans to change the blog will remain blossomandbetsysblog.  at least for now.  in memory now i guess though

 cold temperatures.  some reports of possible snow tonight but so far it doesn't look like it out there.
 i think tomorrow is supposed to be good for northern lights.  cold though, under 20F.
 may have to bundle up and go out searching for lights.  something spiritual about the lights.
 these guys really should be a little tired...but they seem to always have a few more wrestle sessions in the evenings.
 keep saying i'll hit the gym or clean or do anything and then i crash out mentally.  watched all episodes of Crown i think it was called.  enjoyed it.
 the pups are fond of the cat toy...a string on a stick.  the cat likes it too.  so we've been having play sessions with all three.  play time is good bonding time for them all i think. though the cat is for sure at a disadvantage.
 one brother called me yesterday.  don't speak to him often and i'm pretty sure he doesn't get the death of the dog loss thing but he gets big points for calling and trying to comfort me even though he doesn't really get it.  one friend at work said that before she lost her big mastiff she really didn't get how painful it is to lose a pet.
 write a little, toss a toy, collect another piece of wood that's been dragged inside and is now being pulverized in my house.  such a mess.
 so much energy.  went through files for pets a bit. at least moved stuff to a file for animals at the bridge.
 i think they may be settling from the most recent play fest.
 this trail off of stumphenge is still not frozen over. it's always slow to freeze, must be faster moving than i think.  the pups still checked it out.  held them though there was some creaking.

 love all the ice formations this time of year.
 i really need to put in for vacation in March.  get Ivy fixed and enjoy the Iditarod festivities...maybe hit Fairbanks again.
 was anxious to leave the puppies home.  first night without me and Blossom.  i actually left the gate open to the bedroom and just left the upstairs bathroom gated off.  no damage when i returned home. i hoped that if they had access to watch the street from my bed the barking would be inside and not bother any of the neighbors.  the ones attached can't hear them bark except if they are in their downstairs bathroom they report.
 Denali...peeking out.
 these are on powerline/gasline part of trail.
 walking saves me mentally so does vegging out.
 more cool ice

 Tusker's tail used to be's almost gone. just this last curly bit hanging on the end. i thought it was like a matt but it's just a leftover.  still hoping for a bit of curl when they are all done with the growing up stuff, but i do adore them and they do seem low shedding when i brush them so that is great.
 a few from the cell phone
 did Rovers Run one day as well.
 Tusker ready to nap

 this one was cute below. Ivy was laying there, got up and went to toy box and picked up this tennis ball and then just went and lay down with it.  such a sad look on her face....i am convinced she was thinking about her buddy Blossom.  after a bit she put her nose on it and pushed it away.  :-(  so sad.
 i don't always get great ones of Tusker.  that dark color next to her light color make it tougher.  didn't get any really good pics of me with all three of them so that is a bummer.  i suspect i have plenty of photo's to remember my sweet Blossom by.  :-)
thankful for:  A.  sunny days B.  friends and family who have continued to check in on me and have respected the loss of a dog as a real loss.  C.  work that also was tolerant and supportive.  a loss is a loss.  these guys are family.

1 comment:

  1. It took me forever to get over my Aussie Cattle Dog Dingo's death. She got me thru grad school. I'd fill in the blaze on her forehead with that week's highlighter color. After 3 bouts with cancer and an ornery spirit that gave me 3 years with her instead of the predicted 6 months, she died from a snake bite as I rushed to the vet's. Now, Taz (who I adopted as the next-gen dog when I thought Dingo was gonna die from cancer) looks exactly like Dingo - same white muzzle and eyes sinking in sockets. It's uncanny! I kind of like it. I bet Ivy ends up looking like Blossom...