Thursday, November 17, 2016

a day of remembrance....

 looking through some of the thousands of pictures of this girl.  we have walked so many miles and had hoped we'd walk many more.  i think the hardest is how healthy she was and yet, this one thing took her away from me.  she should have and could have had many more years except for that one thing.  she was still walking and playing until she choked.  her labs were essentially perfect, her heart and lungs have sounded okay on exams.  she had a good appetite, it was just she was slowed down eating and drinking because of this.  the tech that night when i asked about her swallowing mentioned that she took the water bowl away after she heard Blossom lapping and lapping.  she didn't want her to drink too much...when she went to take the bowl away though, hardly any water was actually gone.
 i try to remind myself that this is a blessing in a way.  that she didn't have to suffer through some long drawn out thing.  at times the what if's come to mind and i try to push those back.  if we just hadn't fed her again after the initial choking and investigated that more...but every way i look at it, this was just something that would keep getting worse or require some major and invasive surgery to repair.  her life would have never been the same happy life she always had.
 i suppose that would have been worse to bear.  putting her through anything major just so i could keep her with me.
 i spoke to my regular vet and he leans towards a tumor.  i may have repeated some of these pictures. these are just from my favorite files.  i perused the blog looking at pictures this morning
 we have been together and walking almost every day and i probably take at least a few photo's of her every day  so loads of photo's.  going through them, i remembered each walk and remembered taking the pictures.  she was super photogenic.  what a beautiful dog.
 today as we walked i saw a tennis ball left out and then a bit later another.  now these could have been left out there from our group walk on Monday but i preferred to imagine that Blossom played a part in that. i decided that anytime i see a tennis ball left along the trail i will just imagine that it's a little message from Blossom letting us know she is watching over us and waiting for us to be together again.
 later tonight, Ivy went to the toy box and picked up a tennis ball and then just went and lay on a dog bed with it, she had this sad look in her eyes.  she sat there for a few minutes and then just nudged it with her nose and pushed it away.  after Rio passed there was this moment and i remember looking at Blossom and saying something like, "did you just see Rio?".  they say animals are probably more in touch with spirits.  no idea but it would be okay with me if she came around every so often.
 still tears tonight, but it seems more weepy.  last night as i drove Tusker to class i decided to say a prayer and give thanks for this wonderful companion and also to request God to pass along to her what a great dog she was and how proud i was of her and what a joy it was to be with her...well, i had a lot to say.  she is for sure getting to doggy heaven with all those accolades.  this did bring on another bout of tears.
 also needed to let the next door neighbors know of her passing.  the boy next door was 12 when Blossom came as a puppy and for most of her life i left $5 out and he'd stop by while i was at work 3x/week to let her out and pet her.
 she has had a pretty adventurous life.  envious really.
 below is a windy day at the beach.  i'm actually standing right in front of her with the leash, but the leash itself has been blown sideways.
 she has been and continued to be a great walking buddy.  lately, it seemed like it was the puppies and then she and i together walking while they zipped all over.
 she liked to explore and she used to pick her own blueberries.
 the puppies hopefully got some of her wisdom.  since she was such an amazing dog i hoped she'd be able to help them learn for at least 2-3 years.
 i'd also been saving the hair when i brushed her so this girl in Girdwood could make one of her cool ski hats with it.  maybe there is enough for her to at least use it for the design on the front.
 below was another windy day on the dunes
 she loved hitting the beach and the dunes.  she loved doing anything.  so social.  even as a small pup she would sit on the trail and look sadly back if someone passed and didn't stop and say hello.
 at the dog park she mostly ignored the dogs and went for all the people.  leaning in on them, demanding to be pet.
 can't imagine a more joyous dog...she sure brought a great deal of joy to me and i know she touched many lives with her spirit.
 these two have big shoes to fill.  they are pretty sweet and adorable.  both are doing pretty great in class.  not sure they will get to her level but they aren't as addicted to tennis balls either.  that really helped train Blossom.
 loved the sunlight on her coat
 and the mud...that girl had no problem getting dirty.
 i will move on to life without Blossom but had to put in one more Blossom dedicated post.  it's not easy....
 this one is down in Homer
 and out on the trails.
 she has traveled to Homer, Valdez, Chicken and Deadhorse at the very top of AK.
 the pups are sleeping and i may be ready to join them. not much sleep these past days, many tears shed, but also many happy memories of all the hikes and adventures we have shared.
grateful for:  A.  peace in my heart, i will hold her spirit with me as i move forward B.  all the photos that help me remember every one of those adventures, big and small C.  a connection with animals that has gotten me through some rough times in life.

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