Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Happy Fourth...

 we are currently chilling in the my office with the music loudly playing.  fireworks. the dogs don't seem too nervous but they do keep barking at the noise.
 Skelly was ready for the Holiday. i had to take a few pics of him in his summer party wear before switching over.  not sure i came close to last months get up.
 chilled with the puppies today.  no invites to do anything else anyway.  was going to go out tonight again but I'm kind of happy i didn't with the fireworks.  should have gotten myself together for a longer walk these days despite the weather.  today it turned out beautiful in the end. we just did a loop in Kincaid Park and out to the dunes for some play time.  the pups were fine with that.  today, everything was just going to be too crowded i think.
 yesterday it was raining pretty solid.  we did get a break and i met friends at the dog park.  later i went out moose spotting with the pups.  good practice for them to see the moose and not either bark or jump out the window as i took a few pictures.
 for sure feeling a bit melancholy of late.  it seems to come in waves.  I'm alone and i feel it right now.  feeling disconnected from everything and everyone.  don't know how to connect some days.
 did get a chance to chat with a friend today for a bit so that was good.  nothing beats a real conversation...most days it seems like I'm lucky if i get a text message let alone any human contact other than small talk of people passing on the trails. life as a singleton has it's highs and lows.  for the most part we are mostly forgotten on Holidays.
 these are a mixture from June pictures.  still rotating around to the various pictures I'm behind on.  it's July now, the summer moves quickly up here.
 these are some pics of Nugget who is hopefully growing and doing well in Seward and the SeaLife Center. these are his digs below.  they seem to be only asking for donations.  would be so fun to sit with that walrus for a few hours.
 the pups look quite relaxed finally which is good.  hiding out in a room with loud music is probably the best thing to do on firework nights when you have dogs.  for a bit the guy across the street was sitting alone in his driveway shooting off fireworks.  so clearly, I'm not the only person home on a holiday with no invites.
 good for me on days like this to stay off facebook... facebook is this glaring reminder of all the fun other people have with other people who actually like hanging out with them.  haha.  it can just make you more depressed if you are already feeling melancholy and completely disconnected from humans.
 i think this Fourth of July is a bit depressing anyway because of what is going on in our nation.  a POTUS that seems to totally disrespect the office he was elected to.  disrespects our allies, disrespects so much that matters to me and to so many others.  our nation feels so divided and there is so much anger...just doesn't seem like a good year to celebrate.
 don't really see any way that things will be made right again.  NKo is apparently now capable of getting a nuc weapon as far as AK.  that is a pleasant thought.  wish we had leadership that was rational, reasonable, sane to deal with the things that will come up over the next years.  it all feels so impossible right now.
 all the checks and balances that we have been told exist just don't feel like they do. greed and corruption seem to be running so deep...feel like I'm waiting for someone who has ethics and morals and values in DC to stand up and end this all.  sadly, it seems that greed and dishonesty are winning.
 I've never felt like such a pawn in my nation.  feeling powerless to deal with what will happen next.
 saw a clip of the POTUS getting off the plane and just walking off in some random direction when there was clearly a limo right at the bottom of the stairs.  he looked confused.  he is not right.
 hate...can't really hate him.  he's an idiot, he's ill, he ain't right.  mostly if i have hate it's for those around him who to allow this to continue without implementing any checks on his actions...they seem to just want to get what they can out of this fraud of a POTUS and then who knows.
 next week he meets with put.  will he give away more secrets, will our media be allowed in, will he remove sanctions, what is really going on there?  so much unanswered.  who can trust these people in DC right now.  i write so if the worst ever happens, i would be easily found....I'd rather go down with the knowledge that i spoke my truth.  i would rather be on the side of right.  right is speaking up for the earth, right is speaking up for those who can't speak for themselves, right is standing up to those who persecute others, standing up to those who are racist.
 we have had a hand over these many years in these governments that are dysfunctional and now we leave the refugees and act like they don't deserve to be saved.  that is not the side of right.  right is bringing them to safety.
 the Statue of Liberty does feel right now like it's been cut off and dragged under the water.  immigrants, refugees and even illegals have given so much to this nation.  yes there will always be bad that comes with the good, but the good has always far out numbered the bad.
 one thing i do love about AK and Anchorage is how blended it is here.
 it's easy to live your life in a bubble in this world.  right now my bubble seems to be me and the dogs.  of course, my work totally bursts my little bubble.  when I'm there i deal with everyone else i share this place with.  rich, poor, old, young, all cultures and colors and religions and orientations.  we do not pick our patients.  we take the luck of the draw.  we treat all the same.  yes, sometimes i get patients that may disgust me in some ways.  they may have tattoo's that give away some truths of their beliefs.
 when you move past all the external markers that we put on ourselves or are born with...we are the same really.  we all want to be loved and to love.  we all want to find our ways and find some happiness.  we want to laugh and sing and dance.  we all dream.  in truth we all deserve the best chance we can have.  many are already born at a disadvantage...where they are born, to whom they are born...the external characteristics that can't be changed.
 as a nurse, i am required to care for each person with kindness and dignity.  i think i do this pretty well.  i am not perfect, some days I'm sure i do better than others at the kindness part.
 it's probably kind of like my dogs and the training.  most folks who meet us on the trails are complimentary of my dogs...but they aren't fully trained so sometimes things do not go well and I'm sure those folks think I'm horrible.
 i will just have to motivate myself better the rest of the summer to just go and adventure despite not having any humans that can or want to join me.
 the pups look super cute in their life vests.
 rainy week.  i suppose that can make one feel a bit melancholy
 i did get the dog room in Homer for next mon-tues so that is something to look forward to.  need to kind of plan my road trip.  thinking Chicken, Dawson, Whitehorse and then back maybe hit Skagway and/or Haines.  not sure how long those parts of the drive are.
 Tusker is in a dream state.
 it's almost 1 am.  hopefully the fireworks are slowing but in truth it's really just getting dark enough this past hour so probably will be some late fireworks.
 my CD just finished.  guess i will test the waters and not play another and listen for booms.
 can still hear some booms in the distance but the dogs haven't noted them and they aren't barking .  it may be safe to go to  bed soon.
 the tide was going out as we arrived in Seward.  we hit the beach a few times. the pups had a great time.
 i do need more humans in my life.  i have no idea really how to go about that. it seems to get harder the older i get i suppose.  i have never been on the popular list.  not on a list at all.  the only list i get on is the we are having a party so we need filler humans so the party will succeed.  you gotta have bodies so the party appears to be successful...that seems to be where i come in.  perhaps i could make a service with other party fillers and then we could all get invited places.
 it does get depressing.  many days i will text several folks and still walk alone.  after a while of doing that...sometimes you just stop for a while. rejection to start each day is a tough thing to live with.
 baby ducks.
 still booms...only Ivy is perking up with them now.  Tusker is pretty much done for the night. may have to drag his bed out of the office.  don't leave these doors open when I'm not in here...too many temptations for the dogs.
 more baby ducks.  amazing how fast these little guys grow up.  critters and plants have a short season to do what they are going to do.

 low tide
 these baby geese look pretty young.  way younger than the ducklings on the same day.

 the greens are sure pretty.
 the order gets all messed up.  one more day off, hopefully i will make the most of it and hit arc angel or whittier for that hike up for the views of the glacier.  will see what the weather is showing tomorrow.  drove out today heading towards hatchers but it did look pretty bleak that way.  then i was going to hit the reflections lake trail but it was loaded with cars.  the iris do appear to be blooming.
 ivy does the bulk of the swimming these days.  Tusker waits for her to retrieve the tennis ball.  he's so funny.  he just woke up.
 could be a long night i guess.  firework nights always are.
 liked this one of Tusker.
 i suspect he will still get a bit bigger.  fill out for sure.

 this one is at the beach in Anchorage.  mud heaven.  there is supposed to be a new trail down from the dunes end but i didn't notice it.  folks were still climbing up the hillside.  was curious about it though. has anyone checked it out.

 all dogs, no humans...there are worse things i guess.  these guys make me laugh and they don't make me cry...well there were a few days when they were puppies where i suspect i was tired and could have cried out of frustration and exhaustion.
 who could be upset with these sweet faces for very long.  they will never hurt you on purpose, they will never lie to you, they will always be loyal and happy to see you.  they will make you laugh and laugh and laugh....all in all, there are many up sides to having a dog or two.

 they make pretty nice travel and hiking companions.  they don't care if you are beautiful or homely or smart or dumb or witty even.  total lack of judgment from these furs.  i like that.
grateful for:  A. relaxes me  B.  long talks with close friends  C.  foods that remind me of my Mom.  thankful i had extra time living with her and learned her recipes.

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