awake and coughing...

 these pics are in Homer.  hopefully i can sneak in several more adventures before winter hits.

 finished my nights of work.  survived.  strange to not really recall exactly what i worked. i think i worked ER, then was on call until about 9pm the next night and got called in to be a sitter in ICU.  easy night really.  the last night i started in PICU but i ended up being needed in the ER which was getting slammed. a lot had to happen to get me there a lot of nurse swapping.

 sometime after midnight i started to feel a sore throat kicking in...then i just felt more and more exhausted.  that is usually how it starts...

 i crashed hard when i got home.  i had fun stuff planned for my day off, but i totally slept through my alarm and felt like crap when i woke up.  my sinuses felt totally packed so i grabbed some sinus meds from the cabinet.  soon i felt sick to my stomach.  puked in the shower...turns out those pills were 4 years expired.  guess on the plus side, i really haven't been as sick these past several years. i used to have respiratory sickness at least 4x/year, then twice per year...now it's less often than this.

 not sure how long this will last, but it has dropped down to the lungs.  it has  been lasting much less than it used to. i suspect that is partly because i am better at taking care of myself.  in my 20's  and probably 30's i worked through it.  i'm more apt to just call out now.  working with bronchitis and bronchial pneumonia's was probably not my smartest move...but then it was also not smart to keep biking/hiking and lifting weights through this in my 20's either.

 i thought it meant i was tough until my then pulmonary MD gave me a talking too.  oddly, in truth. i didn't feel worthy of taking sick days.  amazing how low a self esteem i had starting out my adult life.  i still have many moments of feeling worthless but i am much better at brushing those thoughts aside and moving forward.

 when i was really young and had fevers i now know i would hallucinate.  that must have been what was happening.  it was the same hallucination every time.  a Laurel and Hardy sort...these two guys would literally show up any time i was sick with a fever and would taunt me.  so odd looking back. thankfully, i no longer get this with a fever.  those guys were mean.  my fever stayed Sunday night 101.4F almost the entire night.  i hate fevers.

 some coughing puking yesterday, which is always fun...did manage a loop at the dog park. dogs are great motivators.  it is those days when i do wish i had a partner in life or family near by. no life is perfect though.i just took my 12 hour cough medicine, so i'll try and crash again when that kicks in....since i was awake though...blog.

 it was beautiful up here this weekend so it really was a bummer that i felt like crap. i had some fun plans.

 combined my dog walk with a trek to the grocery store for less expired cold medications.  have fresh inhalers.  i had just gone to annual Dr's appointment and she likes to keep me in fresh inhalers. i start those as soon as i get a virus.

 liked this cool rock.  like a heart.

 watching a lot of "unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" this weekend.  great no brainer i'm sick tv.

 the dogs have had chuck it time in the back yard.  thankfully, they are actually pretty mellow dogs.  not overly demanding.  they are like, oh, we are going back to bed. ok.  sweet puppies.

 was thinking about religion a bit this past week.  in years past i remember as radical Islam became more and more prominent...many would fault those who were Muslim for not standing up to the radical element.  i had hoped the same, that they would stand up and say, this is not our religion, it has been bastardized.

 i see that beginning to happen with Christianity here now. there is a radicalized segment of Christianity becoming louder and louder.  a segment that see's it all as some sort of holy war where they must battle all (in many cases they see anyone who is liberal as the enemy of their Christianity).

 this segment seems more and more to want to make our nation secular. they want our government to represent their values and only their values, they want everyone else to submit to their ideals.

 will our nations Christians remain silent against these radical Christians like the Muslims remained silent to their radical counterparts?  seems like they will.  that enough of the stuff they fight for aligns with the mainstream Christians and Muslims that they do remain silent...until it finally gets so out of hand that it becomes uncontrollable.  at that point the mainstream Christians will have a tough time putting the radical element down.  at that point, they are seen as the enemy as well by the radical element of their own religion.

 it's easy to ignore an enemy if it seems like it's fighting for the same things as you are.  we have to look behind those seemingly common goals and look at the potential damage of the radical elements of our society. no matter what religion they are based from.

 Christianity isn't a political party though many would try and make it seem as such.  there are plenty of Christians in every party.  the radical element does seem to want to make GOP synonymous with Christianity. it's been fairly effective.

 just some of my thoughts.

 of course, it could be the lack of oxygen to my brain from all this coughing.

 i am starting to get hungry again. coughing burns a lot of calories i think. i know my tongue gets so tired...i let it take a break sometimes. tongues never get any rest.  they work even when you are sleeping.  dealing with the coughing and extra saliva and snot.  all hail to the tongue!!

 the pups sure had a blast at the beach.  really would love to live closer to real beaches one day.  i do miss Ketchikan for that.  the beaches there were awesome!!

 so many amazing beaches in Alaska.  we have loads of coastline. i just heard of another great beach in Seward...so i'll have to check that one out next time i am out there.

 lupine..always a favorite

 i believe i will be making a call to work next time i am awake and moving around.  who wants a nurse that is coughing all over the place and has snot dripping from their nose.  very attractive.

 no doubt i picked up this bug at work. it's always so odd to me that we can get in trouble for calling out sick and yet they don't want you there sick.  i think i actually have some sick time built up.  i was pretty excited about that.

 these pups are so adorable.

 of course, they tried to book towards the sound of a dog barking when i was trying to come inside yesterday after the walk and trek to the grocery for supplies. they are leashed up between the car and house for this very reason, not that this totally prevents them from escaping me.  a few swear words did happen...i was tired and cranky i guess

 living on jello and sprite for 24 hours.  ate some chips as well.  they seem to feel good on my sore throat...odd i guess.  it's like scratching.  bought some lays kettle's.  those are the best since there are loads of folded chips in the bags.  i love folded chips.  bought more jello too.

 6:30 in the morning.  been awake a few hours.  was awake often last night too with the fever. hopefully i can get some more sleep here soon.  the awake times wear you out.

 sorry to bore you with snot/cough/spit/vomit tales...that is all that is on my brain for the most part.  that and a patient that is too young for a diagnosis that will surely mean death.  medicine can  only do so much.

 i did work ER the first night. i had a wandering patient who i eventually helped wander back to the psych ward.  we were totally full of psych patients that night.

 hospitals can no longer go on divert.  we all have to take everyone.  so even though the state limits the number of beds a  hospital can create they feel we shouldn't be limited on the number of patients we can take.  creative ways to deal with the extra patients must be found.

 ER has been packed...

 took some Homer shots with the pups.

 such sweet mugs.

 off to try and get some more sleep. my 12 hour cough med contains a narcotic.  i need a break from coughing...my body needs a break from coughing.  that really is the only way i get one.

thankful for:  A.  hydrocodone  B.  folded potato chips  C.  that i no longer hallucinate when i have a fever!