Wednesday, August 2, 2017

burst your bubble

 these are all in Kennicott.  this was a hike to the glacier.  the Root Glacier.  the people are other tourists out there. mostly on tours.  perhaps next time.  does look fun.  i just wore my basic cleats on this day.  well i wore regular boots but carried my ice bugs with cleats and changed at the base.
 it was a beautiful day.
 thinking about how we all live in our bubbles.  our comfort zone.  surrounded by people that are familiar, that often think as we do.  they are seemingly in parallel bubbles.  it's up to us to break free of those bubbles at least a bit.  reach out to people who look different or think different.  try to at least hear their words and understand their worlds.  in the end we all are more alike than we are different i believe.
 listening to podcast today on tolerance.  how it isn't enough to tolerate each other.   many of us came to age with this impression that we had to pretend that we didn't notice that we all didn't look the same.  to feel guilty for just describing a person. i still struggle with this.  how are you suppose to describe people without using descriptive words.  some one may actually be Black or Asian or White or may be fat or thin or blond.  these are words we use...but often over the years i have a difficult time describing people i suspect party out of fear that i will use a descriptive word that someone may see as racist or mean.  when in truth often it's just the fact.
 it was the ted talks podcast.  the speaker was saying we kind of have to let ourselves off the hook sometimes.  the one speaker works with race relations.  she was telling how she was walking with a co-worker and they were kind of lost.  she was Black and her co-worker was Asian, there was a tall Black guy across the street.  the speaker was all whew, there is someone to ask directions.  the Asian co-worker was thinking they should turn and go the other way.  the speaker actually laughed.  she said, she spent a lot of time around Black males,  her father is Black, her brothers are Black,  so she feels confident knowing this guy would be ok to ask directions.  it just started  a discussion with the two women.
 it was in part familiarity in her mind.  it was just kind of funny to hear her talk about it all. if we spoke more we may all be a bit more chill about all of these relations.  i think as a White person though it's easy to forget that others just have a different reality at times. like, i've been pulled over well over 50 times by police for traffic violations.  i've gotten out of well over 40 tickets over the years.  i  have at times wondered, how would these encounters have been had i been Black and not White.  it's not something i can really ever know, but there is probably a good chance based on statistics that perhaps i would have had some different experiences.
 sometimes just recognizing that as a White person you catch a break that others of different ethnicities don't get.  it is also true that those who are perceived as having beauty or good looks also get more perks...whatever i had back in the days i got out of all those tickets i have since lost. don't get out of as many tickets anymore...nor do i get pulled over as much. i have slowed down.
 getting closer to the glacier access here.
 slept in again. it was cloudy. i prefer it to just rain when it's cloudy. in Ketchikan it did just rain.  met a friend and her daughter up at Powerline Pass.  not too many people out as we headed out to walk.  we did see more as we were returning.  figured probably a lot of folks were hoping it would clear up as the day went on and when it wasn't, they just headed out anyway.
 i got my appointments scheduled. skin check, eye check, hair...so fun
 also moved some big blocks from the front yard to the back yard.  there is some sort of cord out there that the puppies had unearthed. no idea what it is but don't want them to bite into it and electrocute themselves so i put the blocks over the cord and then filled in the area with dirt and cut grass.  will buy more dirt to fill the area and then perhaps plant bulbs before winter hits .  may do more layers and fill back in that section to better protect them.  also need to cut down some stumps that are back there.  that will mean getting the power saw out.  i feel so bad arse when i use a power saw.
 odd rock.
 the moraine has ice as well.  that is what is left as the bigger ice retreats though.
 the tiny people gather at the base there to the right to change shoes and put on cleats from walking on the glacier.
 me, heading down to that area to change my shoes as well.
 the moraine...it really is huge, so dramatic
 so i guess my 30 day change will be to do something in the garden every day that i am home.
 the trail
 pools of water next to the moraine
 moraine covered glacial ice on the hike down to the access area
 was going to watch Spanglish today but couldn't find it.  will have to look through my DVD's. instead i watched a movie i hadn't seen for years but i have always loved.  "Ordinary People".
 first off i fell in love with Canon D by Pachelbel.  i like listening to classical music at times. very relaxing.  after my knee surgery.  i played classical.  may play that when i get my new gold crown next month.  there is a little crack on that tooth so...nothing i did wrong just wear and tear.  so love dental stuff.  i will have the gas...feels better getting dental work done when you feel drunk through it.
 i think that movie also helped me to understand depression and suicide.
 not sure how old i was when that movie came out.  i am thankful i lived in a bit of a bubble growing up as i didn't know what i felt at age 10-11 or have any idea what suicide was.  i do recall feeling unworthy of love and alone.  i recall believing that if i wasn't around it wouldn't matter to anyone.  who knows what i would have done had i known that people act on those feelings with self harm. i kept a pretty depressing diary.  i believe i threw it away later, embarrassed to have felt the way i did.
 later i did come to understand what those feelings were.  that some depression probably creeps into many of our lives from time to time.  you find ways to cope with it.  you remind yourself that those voices in your head that tell you that you are not worthy of love are simply that, voices in your head.  i can see how if this never lets up it can consume you and be impossible to fight off. thankfully for me, feelings of depression have never stayed all that long.  long enough but also short enough that i can remind myself of what it really is and move through it.
 i generally just call it melancholy.  i try to allow it to work it's way through me without allowing it to take over.
 i am on the glacier in these next pictures.  in the one above this one i am looking back at others who are putting on their cleats.
 me on the ice
 pretty stable walking in this part

 love that clear blue glacial water that pools all over.  saw that some more adventurous folks are taking kayaks down glacial streams on top of glaciers.  better check that out pretty closely before heading down lest you end up in a crevasse.
 can't complain about a day like this.

 today was nice though.  cool enough to be pleasant walking.
 haven't been sure how to dress Skelly for this month. today i just dressed him for hiking.  not much to that i guess.
 thought about cowboy and fishing.  perhaps later in the month i'll change it up. just September and then we are back to Halloween!  yikes, summer goes fast.
 me straddling a tiny glacial stream on the top
 there were several of these across the top to step over
 you can see more below.
 the greens are so beautiful especially in contrast to the colors of the glacier.
 there are little beautiful blue puddles on top of the glacier as well
 and these even smaller puddles with collected rocks that are left after the glacier melts a bit.  this eventually is what becomes the moraine.  all these tiny stones get left behind as the ice melts.
 they were all over.
 i had some ashes with me so it seemed a good place to leave some
 let my dogs at the bridge take the long adventure and travel with the glacier...let the ash become part of the moraine one day
 it is getting late so i should head to bed.  another good day.  love hiking here.  only one moose spotted today.
 eventually i made 3 hearts, Blossom, Rio Catalina and Baby Huey
thankful for:  A.  health  B.  chores and the ability to do them.  C.  sleep

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