back to 2 ply toilet paper....it's the little things in life, right?

 

with the run on TP i ended up with a package of one ply in the rotation!  thankful that is about over. i know that makes me quite the princess.

it's about the New Years and i'll be working New Years so this is it.  

goals...get the dog healed and get new flooring put in.  that is the basics.  

this year i got the bathroom cabinets done and counters and new sinks and all.  the year before was the kitchen...this year...floors must be done.  

i suppose i am supposed to have some personal goals. surely i am far from perfect...i gave up on perfection decades ago.  it's so over rated and impossible...all you really do is feel worse and worse about yourself striving for impossible goals. 

my goal is often the same every day and every year.  try to be a decent person.  try to be more patient and kind.  try not to screw up and do harm at work. i always like the try to be the person your dogs think you are.  

we have had some breaks in the clouds these past few days. i tried to get out there and enjoy what i could.  the walks were all local.  i keep trying to convince myself that Ivy doesn't need the surgery....she plays on the walks and forgets her leg is sore, but then we get home and it's obvious she is painful...so that is coming up. i really need to get that more planned out. want to plan a swim day for right before so she can get a good bath before the operation. someone posted their dog got a post op infection and now may need it's leg amputated...best to never go on line about these things.

i've heard it's like that with pregnancy. people feel the need to tell the pregger person all of their hell delivery stories...like anyone needs to hear that.  i just want to hear about how great surgery went and how great the dog did after. save the horror stories for after she is all healed.  then i can hear it. 

always great to drive a bit out Turnigan Arm.  something to see every time. 

ended up chatting with one of my nieces and then later texting her.  we've texted for years but we haven't talked on the phone much.  i have never wanted to be intrusive on their lives...but i have always wanted to be open and available for them.  see myself as the back up. 

we spoke about assumptions.  i recall years ago my eldest niece had gotten an anonymous note from someone at church.  it was a comment on how she was dressing. she was pissed.  when her Mom spoke to me about it she said, "she sounds just like you" meaning she sounded like me and my views on the church. 

I knew i had to be very careful in my interactions with the kids or it would be assumed that i was influencing them, trying to make them leave the church.  i always wanted to be proof that you could leave and survive and be available if they wanted to talk. so great to be able to speak freely.  i mean most of them are adults now.  they can make their own life choices...it's not really on me anymore. 

i am always happy to see them walk away though.  if you aren't happy in your religion you shouldn't be afraid to leave.  sadly, many are and many never leave based on that fear. 

leaving an all encompassing church like that is tougher the longer you are in. 

i'm not going to say leaving was easy in my early 20's, but it's gotta be much more of a challenge when you have gone on a mission, gotten married in the temple, had kids...

i am very impressed at the bravery of those who take this step. 

i also understand those who will back slide and never leave ultimately...like a bad relationship...many just can't ever make that break. it makes me happy to see those who leave and are able to find the happiness away from the church. i know it's possible. so congrats on making the break...i know it will  be a long process and no doubt has already been a long process. there are still challenges for me and i've been out decades.

Covid Cat often goes out the dog door and then comes to the back door asking to come back in.  he doesn't stay out long. not a fan of the cold and snow.  so happy to have him inside with me so much.  i'm sure that will change once the weather warms. 

i'm all scheduled for vaccine #2. so that is exciting. 

ocean view bluff park. it was pretty icy out there and windy so we didn't stay long. 

delivered the last of the Christmas gifts and enjoyed some Christmas lights as i drove around. 

last night i spent some time re-doing my address book. not too many addresses anymore. people move and rarely share addresses or any of that information.  if you aren't on social media....you disappear. 

still a few of the gift unwrapping. 

i couldn't miss that.

it was pretty out there. 

this was today. took the dogs out gasline-powerline-tank trail. then to the side trails on the way back. 

fairly warm out there.

finally stopped the actual paper delivery. will just pay for online service.  i have felt the need to support actual journalism these past 4 years.  don't want papers to go away.  i am reading much of it online anyway so seems better to just stop the paper version at this point.  i can still support papers. i support a few other more national papers as well. 

it does seem like there is less and less trump...i hope that trend continues.  he's been golfing and not getting in front of the press lately.  good.  i, like many others feel he will probably never have to pay for the corruption that occurred in his time in office and the things he did before or will do after. some people just manage to get through world being terrible and some how reaping the rewards seemingly.  it's frustrating and depressing really, but there are some very unfair aspects of life that will never change.  the rich, the elite, will always be able to weasel out of the worst of it.  

religion gives people a way to feel that this will be remedied in the next life but there is the possibility that will never happen either. 

i see myself as more agnostic at this point.  i believe you have to have faith to believe in a God but you also have to have some faith to believe there is no God. i'm willing to concede there may be a God and i like the idea of someone having some authority over the madness and horrific things that happen on earth.  i have come to believe that i don't need to be right or know all in order to be a decent person.  in order to try and be kind and follow the teachings of Jesus and frankly the basic message that most of the world religions have at their core. 

i also believe that anything that man touches is subject to corruption and greed. so i have little respect for any and all organized religions.  i think people can participate in a church if it fits a need in their lives as long as they do not put faith in the churches run by man.  it's fine to have faith in God but having faith in a religion is a whole other thing.  

having faith in a political figure is just plain foolish.  they will all make mistakes, they all can be lured in to corruption, greed.  they're ego's get raised by the power of it all and so you must always keep a watch on them...have some level of distrust. i've just seen it too many times in politics, religion, businesses and non-profits. things start with good intentions but can spiral.  much depends on the people we surround ourselves with, or they surround themselves with.  are they people who keep them level. are they trust worthy. are they willing to speak truth to power...and those in power are they willing to hear truth.  i know trump won't. 

he is none of those things. 

winter is dry and my lip is cracked.  ouch. i keep putting chapstick on.  happens every winter though. love that body butter from body shop...dry winter skin. 

more of the lights.  i didn't do much this season. hopefully, by next year life is a bit more normal and i'm sure we will all appreciate being together again.  

people have wildly different views of what is safe in a pandemic.  we have a lot of selfish and ignorance in our society and culture.  we have many who have shown they have little respect for the elderly or those who have medical issues. it's been pretty sad....what is even more pathetic is how many who think this way are the same who make claims to be the ones who most follow the word of God. 

i think they should be reading less of these crazy conspiracy theories and should perhaps get back and read the very basic message of Christ.  that isn't going to happen any time soon though.  how do we de-program such a large percentage of the population?  it's so nuts. the crap they believe.  conspiracy crack addicts.  

i believe they are addicted to it.  they have no escape hatch and they will have to hit rock bottom before they can ever even attempt to find a way back.  from what i know of addiction though for many there is no rock bottom...rock bottom is dead. 

i have these adorable faces to keep me happy.  i stick to myself when i am not at work. at work....we don't have much of an option.  we come from all over, with different views and different bubbles and we are in smallish spaces.  we wear masks but we can't always, we have to drink and eat and don and doff. 

soon at least a good chunk of us will be vaccinated.  hoping it works and works long enough.  

i am grateful to have a job still.  i am also grateful to be in this first round of vaccines.  it's been a stressful year.  i hear tums are flying off the shelves like toilet paper.  i have used more than my usual this year as well...tums, not toilet paper, though i did have that Nexium time...no more nexium for me. 

maybe i will plan for some purging of crap, selling stuff i don't use anymore, giving away stuff, while i'm laid up with the dog post op that may be a good time for that...or will i be tired.  the time off will go quickly, then i'll have to figure out how to keep her safe while i work. 

there has already been some fireworks. the dogs bark...will have to keep tv or radio on loud that night and close the dog door and shut the blinds.  don't want them scared all night. probably should have taken that as the holiday off.  oh well. this too shall pass. 

tusker flying by with his new toy

he has actively removed most of the squeakers already. destuffing as well.  

bunk beds.  

fun photo session with my crocheted hats from Bulgaria.  i don't knit or crochet. i have no patience for such things. 

my lack of perfection crosses over all arts and crafts as well. 

been nice having fires each night. well, i shall get off of the computer and head to bed soon.  back to work tomorrow....what will it bring. the covid numbers are starting to climb slightly. we'd gotten down to nice low numbers again but what will the holidays bring.  hoping people are staying in small bubbles.  

thankful for A. having a live conversation.  :-)  B. that i'm not the only one who sees things the way i do C. that dogs have no opinions and could care less about politics.