sitting in the sunshine...

 

and it feels good!

finished another 6 day stretch.  got a bit ambushed on my way out the other morning, lured into an office with warnings about people getting fired over looking into charts. hippa.  makes early retirement just look  better and better to me.  hate being tricked into these conversations.  i'm not sure who the celebrity patient was....seems they are more violating hippa than i am.  haha. maybe if i get them to fess up to who the big star was.  in the ER the patients are every one's and everyone is in every chart it seems.  i'm apparently not getting fired....this time. 

many hospitals look for reasons to get rid of expensive seasoned nurses.  i also know that in the ER, my chart is not always closed and it would be super easy for someone else to get in there....which would also be my fault, so if they want to get rid of you they always can...isn't that comforting.  it matters not how good you are at your job.  if it's for leaving my chart open then they had better fire the entire ER staff including the MD's.  i did mention unions and lawyers if anyone tried to fire me over this. could add to the retirement package.

a little reminder...stay out of the back hallways and stay on nights.  staying invisible is always better.

perhaps staying invisible is better in all aspects of life.  

since i stopped initiating things with family it has become clear that only a few ever really wanted contact of any real measure...the others probably just view me as an obligation and i will of course get the occasional Birthday or Holiday call. then there are a few that loathe me outright despite Christmas greetings otherwise.  

saw a quote today that did strike a chord. "life became a lot simpler when i decided just to let some people misunderstand me". Alicia Lockhart.  no idea who she is  but that is wise. i have often felt like negative assumptions have been the standard when it comes to me and my family.  they assume the worst and it's made me feel like i must be as bad as they believe i am.  it's time to let that go, if they want to assume the worst of me, there really just isn't much i can do about that.  nothing i have done has ever proven otherwise. 

i have to accept myself and see the good that is in me.  no matter what i do good or who i become, i will always be who they choose me to be.  i can't change that.  they still think i will bring men to their house and have wild sex with them or drink or do drugs..who knows.  nothing in my life shows any truth to these things but that is the life they have chosen for me. i wish i had men to have wild sex with...i guess i can be grateful they think that is still possible. 

did some yard work which apparently spurred my neighbor to get moving on her yard work...she has a son so she way outdid me.  i had to toss the tennis ball.  

Covid Kitty trying to join us on the trek to Homer.

i can't even recall what all i did at work over these last two weeks. none of the days were in the ICU, most of them were in the ER doing regular ER and or hold patients. they had over 20 patients waiting for rooms in the ER a few times.

i actually did have a full night in the observation unit. sweet gig. i heard in the morning that the managers from 4n will take it over so that will probably never happen again. it's been closed a lot the past year with covid but it's having some open days here and there.

one night i was in the RCU, i remember that as well. 

on my two days off there was sleep and then Monday night I joined a few friends out at Bird Creek Campground in the Beluga Cabin.  not a lot of sleep but we all had fun.  

Ivy was a bit irritable with a large puppy a friend brought.  was it from not being around a lot of dogs for so long or just protection and sore on her leg. 

i really thought she would be sore after Homer but she did quite well.  the bad leg does hurt from time to time.  i still have the cbd oil and truprofen just in case.  

i did give her a dose of truprofen this evening after she chased tennis balls and went for a walk with LS and I. we did gasline/powerline/tank.  i took a nice slip in the mud.  my bad knee curling up underneath me.  so far it doesn't seem any worse.  just embarrassing slipping. 

yesterday i managed a walk in North Bivouac as well.  lots of glass from broken car windows...jerks. 

the pups took off i the woods and i then saw that there was a young moose laying down as it jumped up and bolted a few steps. the dogs then came running back.  must have looked much friendlier before it stood up. even a young one...still pretty big. 

still snow/mud and punchy.  i headed to bed pretty early

for sure more tired after a stretch of night shift that i was several years back. 

i'd done a loop in the bog Sunday morning as well so two walks....that should be the normal.  especially with all our day light.

it's after 9 and the sunsets now just after 10. i may try to catch a glimpse of it. 

i attempted to sit in the yard and read in my new camp chair but Ivy kept dropping her tennis ball. i have gotten some reading in outside over the past week.  so nice to have warm sun returning.  

many of these are in Homer of course.  tempted to head down there again.  

time to start thinking of summer plans.  one of my nieces and her family will be coming so that will be fun.  have one kayak trip, talk of a bear trip to Katmai. that would be a first for me so that could be fun. i think i'd want to stay in the lodge...spoil myself a bit.

flooring is the goal

i'm thinking hexagon tile for the bathroom floors...dark grey downstairs, white upstairs.  

change the green paint downstairs to a grey. 

always the projects.  

would also like to get a clean up crew in for the yard and attempt to get some grass out there again.  it's sparse in some sections of the yard...from dogs romping on it.  the dogs won't stop romping but maybe we can give the lawn a go.

this is at Cooper Landing. 

under the docks on the spit

a shot on the drive home...i'm guessing with this sun we've had some meltage happening at Summit Lake. 

maybe a day trek to Seward tomorrow. stay closer to home this week. plenty to do

there are always fun adventures in this place.  hopefully i can get out and get to some of them this summer. 

the usual ones and some new ones.  i do always love the boat trips out of Seward to see the whales and all. 

this place is just amazing and there is never a dull trek....no matter how many times you travel the same roads. 

ivy has enjoyed being more herself.  she will never be 100% because of the other knee but she is totally acting like the girl we all know and love more and more. 

holding paws...

the swing under the shops on the spit.  the pups do not let me just enjoy swinging too much...that is just how they are. 

i better get off the computer and search for the sunset...it looks like it may be a nice one

some clouds have rolled in

Cinco De Skelly is fast approaching. 

the dogs enjoy running across snow year round and will all we had this year, that is a real possibility.

i left one of my rocks in this make shift hut on the beach in Homer...it was found probably before i got back to the Hotel room.  

Ivy slept on my bag for much of the night.  good thing i brought my bag liner so i wouldn't be cold

go in peace...don't let the negative infiltrate your world.  be who you are and be willing to look away from those who refuse to see you in any way other than the way they have decided to.  

thankful for A. people who know me and like me despite my flaws...but also see the real me and do not assume the worst of me.  it's too exhausting trying to fight others preconceived notions. B. fun escapes with friends C. sunshine and a good book to read.