Saturday, December 29, 2012

bohemian waxwings...

 such beautiful little birds.  they cruise around the hood in large groups.  they seem to like my tree.  i was chatting with my brother joel when i heard them. i  was actually in shock as i have spoken to joel 2 x in one week.  that just doesn't happen.  nice to chat though. sounds like a few packages arrived the day after christmas.  just sent off more packages. i joked with the postal dude (who actually had a sense of humor) that i'd given up getting them there by this christmas and was hoping they'd arrive before next christmas.
 work was busy with babies with the respiratory bugs.  snorfling and coughing and nose suctioning....those little ones can sure keep you busy.  enjoying a peaceful snot free night.  hit the gasline trail with the dogs today then actually made it to the gym for a swim.  swim went well.  i've decided that the hot tub after is a bad idea until the veins get fixed. vasodilation made for me feeling pretty crappy.  i stopped by work to drop off the calendars to those who won them in the drawing.  katie looked a bit alarmed..i must have looked as bad as i felt.  came home and elevated and feel better now.  probably just did too much as well after working 3 nights and little sleep.
 work was stressful, not because of the sick patients.  felt ambushed the day after christmas, i was approached  in the middle of shift change about my schedule and we got into it a bit.  a more professional way to deal would have been to email me and request a time we could discuss the schedule.  professional wasn't to happen in this instance so the row was there for all to hear.  it's been busy in the peds/picu and when that happens my strange little way of life going between 2 units comes into question. this happens every year. staffing gets tight and i'm obviously the cause of it all.  this person is bothered apparently that my required weekend days occur on the days i'm in the adult unit.  the rational she gave for having me reverse my days didn't make sense.  it really comes down to, it bothers her that i do my weekends down there and that this unit has to pay my benefits.  the hospital hasn't figured out how to split my benefit money between the two units so peds/picu has been stuck paying.  so it's not that i'm not aware of this, ambush me with a total change and no reasonable rational  seems silly.
 i've been doing this for almost 8 years  now.  i think there are a few co-workers that grumble as well about me doing my weekends down in the adult unit. they also grumble that i get credit for floating when i float down there because i like it...apparently a float only should count if you are miserable.   i find that some people are miserable in their own lives and it eats away at them to see someone happy.  they just can't leave that be.  i'm not one to let their misery bring me down.  one of these grumblers, i suspect, fears that her life weekend free at work is nearing an end and to counter this she is set on reminding everyone that i do my weekends in the adult ward, if only to protect her no weekend status.  we are all required to do 2 weekends a month. a point that i wasn't hesitant to remind this person...i at least am doing my required and perhaps if this person were to do her required she may fix this crisis that i alone am currently able to fix.  not sure how moving me to weekends fixes the fact that many of the staff are new and learning.  i don't like being a hydrant for others to pee on.  when i feel attacked, i attack back.
 apparently i ticked her off and the next night in the wee hours i discovered that emails had been exchanged during the day and according to these emails i will change to doing my weekends in the peds units starting in march.  i wasn't supposed to see these emails but thankfully, they were forwarded to me because some people have a sense of ethics and fair play.  it's my life, my schedule so i should be involved.  i did note that the truth was stretched  and manipulated, this came into play in convincing others that this was the best course of action.  of course, at this point i found myself livid.  ambush, going behind my back, manipulating the truth...these are all things that will piss me off.
 sorry to this point i will have to make some decisions as to my future.  it's been a good run. i do enjoy what i do.  we shall see.  nothing last forever and there are options that are available.  this person is now aware that her  email has been seen by me as i responded to all.  i corrected the blatant inaccuracies and mentioned that i should be included in these conversations not excluded.  no response at this time.  it's good to have friends who are watching out for you!!
 change is stressful, but it can also be great to shake it up every so often.  things happen for a reason. the world won't end if i change jobs and i suspect she is hoping i will.  she is only thinking budget and i doubt she really grasps what i bring to the unit.  not sure i want to have to deal with this sort of issue on an ongoing basis.  will let some time pass and hopefully life will seem clearer.  the peds unit has been adamant that i would have no set schedule and this could mess up my whole schedule if i do the weekends for them without assurances that my dates won't be  messed with.  there are reasons it's worked for these past 8 years.  sorry to ramble.  it's what i do to clear my head.
 neighborhood snowman.  have hit dog park, bog and the gasline trail this stretch.  wednesday i just slept.  can't believe i'm still awake tonight.  life would be less complicated if i were a snowman...he looks pretty happy.
 my local post office was victim to a crime  someone has been stealing post boxes.  this guys' buddy went missing and now they aren't accepting mail here.  3 other post boxes went missing across town.  mail was stolen and fraudulent charges/checks were written.  luckily, this box was stolen after the last pick up so it's doubtful there was much in it.  maybe some christmas cards that don't arrive.  tampering with federal mail is not a good idea. i think you can get in big trouble with the feds for that.  this mailbox looked lonely without his buddy.  all he could do was stand there as his buddy was ripped sad.  :-(
 from gas line trail.
 more of the birds enjoying the sunshine and relative warmth.  we've been in the 20 's at least.

need to start planning my summer...try anyway.  all i can plan at this moment is how to crawl into bed.  hoping for a clearer tomorrow.  good night.

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