with over 20 years in this amazing place. it's never dull. i hope to enjoy years of exploration here.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
everything will be alright in the end....
...and if it isn't, it's not yet the end! from, "the best exotic marigold hotel". i am on call so it's risky to attempt to write my blog. one never knows what happens at the hospital while i sit innocently at home. i'm on call for the adult icu. i guess soon if i ever get on call again, it will be for a larger chunk of the hospital. so i shall enjoy whatever call time i have now. not sure how it all works out. this was a good movie for me to watch. there are some movies that just remind you to not go into things with expectations and to just let life take you where it will.
that is the attitude that will bring you the most happiness. still i am one to stress a bit during the transition period when things are up in the air. so it's good to keep that thought in my head...everything will be alright in the end...and if it isn't, it's not yet the end.
today i slept, no walk. did toss the toy for blossom a bit and picked up dog poop. so exciting is my life. i slept hardly at all yesterday. i was really tired. since i couldn't sleep yesterday i took the dogs to the bog and made chicken noodle soup. this first pictures are from the walk i took with the dogs out gasline to powerline to tank trail. it was a foggy day so we came in and out of the fog. rio makes her way across the little creek on the powerline part of the trail.
was wondering if the cairn artist was out there..but just the one cairn. probably someone else.
could use a night off, it's been awhile. kept busy the last few nights. got a patient in the middle of the night the other night that kept me busy. she looked like a corpse really, but then she woke up. amazing really, when that happens. you think it's over for someone, but when it's not your time it's not your time. we had another guy several weeks back. his heart had stopped a few times i think, in another place they had called it over and left him. guess he began to breath again and someone noticed. the plan was to withdraw and remove his tubes...again for me i noted that he was opening his eyes and then soon was following me around the room with his eyes. saw his family in the hospital the other day, they didn't recognize me, but that is a sure sign that the guy is still on the earth. one has to wonder how many lights or visions a guy like that saw in all that time not being alive. strange.
love a foggy sun.
after that phone call the other night i really imagined it was all over the place that i was changing over to the float pool. hardly anyone said anything or seemed to know when i got to work. some people just talk with such authority you find yourself believing everything they say. normally, i would have blown the words off, but i suck them in more as i'm stressed a bit in the transition stage. not sure how the road is laid out before me.
watched a thing on tv about jones town and the mass murder/suicide. mostly, i'd say murder though. so sad. over 900 people gone. cults. it's always amazing how people can be made to believe things that it seems any rational person wouldn't believe...but many of them are rational people. they just want and need to hear a certain thing at a certain time i guess. we need to believe, to think we know. i think even often we need to feel superior and a cult usually fills those needs, to be right and therefore superior somehow. it's not often we are right or superior in this world. mostly we feel wrong and inferior.
we make choices, we live with the results of those choices. i think as long as you live true to yourself, take responsibility for your choices and try not to choose from a place of fear you will be fine. i'm probably pretty good at this in all areas except relationships. i suspect i have too much fear in that area of my life. fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, accepted. fear of failure. we are mostly our own worst enemies. we are the only thing that holds us back.
dogs have no such concerns. i try to emulate the dogs. the only thing blossom seems to fear is the vet.
rio goes through the world blind and she still blunders forth, trusting.
the fog dropped down more as i left the trail.
i was having a great time trying to get pictures of the droplets with the macro.
seems like there is always something fascinating in the world, you just have to be open to it...see another thing i should take from this world and put into action in my life as a whole.
i could see the world in these little droplets. hard to hold still enough and i'm always too lazy to carry around a tripod so it's a practice in patience for me.
rio likes that i stop often. blossom is tolerant of my need to take pictures. it's all she knows i guess.
if i don't get called in i will have to attempt to check out the costumes at the ski for women tomorrow. then maybe walk the dogs out to the dunes again.
not holding my breath though.
the yukon quest is starting. it's a less known about long sled dog race. hugh neff won last year which i was happy about. this one runs from whitehorse in the yukon territory on up to fairbanks for the finish. not sure even if they left today saturday or if they leave next saturday. a few will run both races. mackey is the first and only to win both this and the iditarod in the same year. he's running this year again as well. neff is defending though.
you can see the trail in the drop above.
can't believe how tired i am tonight. would need to grab some sort of caffiene if i got called in. i'm still consuming very minimal amounts of any soda...and chips. not sure i see any weight loss, but i'd be happy with a lower cholesterol level for my efforts.
just some close ups from the trail.
lichen and fungi.
and peeling bark.
this is from the bog yesterday. you can see all the magpies in the trees. that usually means there is something dead around. never saw anything, did note what looked like a hawk that flew over while i was out there. i wasn't quick enough with my camera.
trees and mountains...today was a pretty day as well. just too sleepy.
had a patient with ptsd ( post traumatic). i felt badly cause the bed he had would make these noises that when i thought about it sounded like gun fire in the distance...probably very comforting when you are trying to sleep and have ptsd from war service.
these are for quinton...i got my socks!!! my friend quinton knitted these lovely socks for me. i wore them to work last night and they were so comfy!! my first ever pair of home knit socks...THANKS!! if you like any for your blog just right click them quinton!! i have never tried to take photo's of socks before, i know i don't do them justice! very cool though, right!!
my scrub pants were a little different colour green, but i'm a fan of green no matter what shade it is.
quinton also made me this incredible scarf. i love the colours. again....the scarf colours are awesome and the wearer doesn't do the scarf justice. just wanted to share these fabulous gifts with everyone...who doesn't love homemade gifts!! not to knock gift cards, cause they have their place, but you can't ever improve upon a gift that someone used time and thought to put together.
was just trying to show off the scarf more...but also see what i would have looked like had i been raised in a country where women were required to wear a head covering. i think i will stick to wearing my scarves around my neck in public.
a girl always loves a silly photo session though.
here i am in a more silly shot. there is that nose!! anyway...the scarf and socks are great...thanks quinton!!
will attempt to get a little rest. hope i can sleep and hope i will wake if the phone rings..which is generally why i have a hard time sleeping when i'm on call...fear that i will miss the call to come in.
have lived in alaska since 1995, lived in ketchikan for 6 years and here in anchorage since 2001. it's a wonderful place and i enjoy getting out nearly daily for a walk/hike/stroll or ramble. enjoy the pics