Saturday, February 23, 2013
had a little mini meltdown before my last shift in peds. we all get those from time to time i think. always a bit stressful, as you change there is that part of you that hopes you have made the right move. i know it will be a good move. i enjoyed going between the two units and probably would have done it for longer had other things not come to bear, but life sometimes does that to you for a reason.
these are just hikes and rambles about town over the last few days. hit the dog park once, the bog once and today i woke up early with the plan of watching the fur rondy mushing run out at my little spot out of the north bivouac trail system. blossom and i headed out there on little sleep and snowshoes. no pictures of dogs though, it looks like they have changed the route, at least for this year. i'll see if i can chase it down at the muldoon curve area tomorrow. may be bust too. blossom and i sat and waited and she looked into the woods for the teams to come....she knows exactly what is up when we go to that spot. she loves to watch mushing. eventually, we had to give up knowing we'd been had. oh well...
there were pro's to staying, but in the end, the cons won. i used that notes section in the ipad to list them out. so it wasn't a hasty decision. on the plus side was that i do enjoy both units and the patient populations overall that are in them. i do like my co-workers for the most part in both units and i like being part of a unit and i won't be able to tell patients, "yes, i'll be back tonight to be your nurse" and see that look of relief and happiness in their eyes.
on the con side ( reasons to go)...i just don't want to become one of those bitter people who become angry at some perceived injustice and is afraid to change, i don't want to stagnate in one position because it's comfortable. i want to force myself to get out of the box and try something new, learn something new. comfortable isn't always a good thing. i don't want to allow people to win when they use manipulation and deceit. i don't want to be the one who gives negative people positive reinforcement for bad behaviour. i will be able use my skills in new areas and learn new things, i will meet new people, i will still be able to float to the places i've already enjoyed and mastered to some degree so that will feel comfortable while i am learning new things, which is uncomfortable. people will be happy to see me, i can save the day as it were, which will be nice. vacation days, days off and holidays will be simpler to plan as i will only have to answer to one unit rather than two seperate ones. the float pool seems to work with their staff on happy scheduling. management changes in both units, so maybe a good time to leave. i've had this strange little piece of paper allowing me to do this for almost 8 years. not sure how it would do in a battle and this situation lasted longer than anyone probably expected it would.
choices, stay, fight changes, leave...in the end leaving seemed the most reasonable...
i hope that on my part i am willing to acknowledge when i've treated someone unfairly or rashly. i do realize that it's not easy to put yourself out there in that way. it's hard for all of us to admit wrongdoing...we like to be right.
one biologist feels it's a waste of funds to spend so much money developing just this one species when there are so many species out there who need to be saved as well. it's not that he hates the adorable panda's, but that he thinks cuteness shouldn't mean we only save panda's. guess he said he'd happily eat the last panda on earth if the money would go towards the bigger issues and the greater good. of course, in the interview he said, he's actually a vegetarian so there will be no panda eating....not to worry.
i just think it's sad that the goal is just centered around putting more panda's in the world in cages and they all appear to be imprinted on humans so none of them could ever be released back to the wild even if the space were created for them. so many animals and plants are just being lost to this earth because of human encroachment and pollution.