Sunday, August 18, 2013

rainy days and sundays always get me down...

 okay, it's really supposed to be monday and i'm really not that down.  i actually am cool with a rainy day.  it is funny how it always takes me longer to get moving on rainy days.  once i'm out there though i could care less about the rain.  these are mostly from the days out at byers lake
 tom mostly took over fire duty.  i must admit that i got a few fires started.  my nephews tried for some time and i showed them they didn't need any matches to get it started with the old coals still in there. we never needed to heat up the cabin though so no fires in there,  it was warm enough.  probably haven't been too many fires in that cabin this summer.
 these are a few from the kayaking day.  below is sunset headed home.
 just baked some manicotti.  used big shells instead of manicotti noodles, but loads of cheese.  should be tasty.
 went through both of my netflix movies last night.  one was "les miserable".  i think i was supposed to love it like everyone else did.  too much singing for me. i always hate when they sing things that should be spoken. i mean it's fine for an opera or the theater,but in a movie...ick!
clearly i lack some culture gene.  i couldn't take was off before they killed off the main actress, who i think may have gotten some academy award or at least a nomination for her short performance. oh well, i didn't like it, what can i say.
 i sort of watched the other movie i had, which was more of an old animal documentary.  watching nature is always okay,but it was an older movie so not fantastic.
 rio enjoyed the sunshine on the front deck.  she wore her rain coat today.  on the way back from our loop we ran into a few people on horses.  ended up following them back to the trailhead.  having the smell of horses in front of her really motivated rio.  i think that was the fastest she's walked all summer.  the people on the horses actually stopped to ask me if they were walking too slow.  if they only knew.
 she only fell off this deck once, which is always my worry.  the ends just drop off a few feet.  enough that she could really get injured.
 miss breezy chatterbug has returned to the house.  she has some new hiding places picked out and i now know a few of them better.
 sister wives in on in the background.  that whole polygamy thing would not work for me at all.  talk about too much drama.  somebody is always crying.
 we spent most of our time at the cabin outside.  great that the weather maintained for us while we camped
 the view from that cabin is always amazing. other than mosquito's last year, this place hasn't ever disappointed.
 still doing some chores to catch up....dishes always, laundry always, bills.  those are the day to day things of life.
 i think the halibut meal cooked on the fire turned out the best.  tasty!!
 elijah loved the fish.  not sure he'll know what kind of fish it was...just fish.
 i also need to get some packages ready to mail.  they left an ulu knife that they couldn't take on the plane and also some pocket knives.  so i'll try to get those in over the next few days.
 s'mores, ice cream...all the usual camp out foods.
 darla is like me in that there is a right way and wrong way to get that marshmallow cooked just right.
 thought of making some calls today...still a bit in hermit mode.  back to work on tuesday then another stretch off.  may go for a roadie with the dogs on my next stretch.  the fall colours should start to show up and i love to try and hit some of those.
 elijah is a climber.  thankfully, he's pretty good at it.  i feared some emergency visit would be required.
 darla gets the beds ready in the loft area.  i forgot how low the ceiling is there.
 blossom settled in on my least she gets the bed preheated
 tom was happy tending the fire.
 the cabin inards.
 some one passed around one of those internet was titled, "happy people don't"...
i think most of those are pretty self explanatory.  they don't gossip.  i'm not known as a gossip and never was.  i generally don't care what other people are up to.  i can be as curious as the next person.  i am terrible at recalling details though so gossip was never something i could really pass along even if i wanted to...i never remember what it is.  i think my work does that to me.  you are almost trained to forget stuff.  all those rules regarding privacy.  it's easier for me to just take in general information and forget the little stuff, the who's the where's and stuff.  generally if i pass along something it's to a friend in another state.  i try to never hurt others feelings.  gossip tends to be hurtful in the end. just not worth it.  i've been on the other end of gossip and it's not fun.
 so along with that was not concerning yourself with others problems.  i am usually pretty good at this too.  i see people who get themselves wrapped up in peoples issues. i'm always willing to listen, but don't expect me to take any action beyond that.  your issues will remain your issues. i may give some advice which you may or may not take or appreciate.  i'm not going to get myself stressed out over your problems though.  most of our personal issues are stuff we have created ourselves.  people make choices and it's then your responsibility to deal with it and adapt or change your own life.
 negativity is another happiness killer.  i try to avoid negative situations and negative people. if you don't like something in your life, change it.  hate your job, quit, hate where you live, move, can't stand your partner, leave.  too many people live fear based lives in my opinion.  people live for years in negative or unhappy situations because they fear what will happen.  often people live their lives making others happy and forgetting to find their own happiness.  be the change you want.
 jealousy...the green devil. happy people do avoid feelings of jealousy.  not much good comes from being jealous. i think it's a tough one sometimes for many people.  the grass does appear greener on the other side, but the truth is we rarely know what is really happening in others lives.  i have found that many of the people who look the happiest are really just great actors.  i've been bowled over many times by families and situations that seem to fall apart suddenly...then you realize that they were a disaster all along, but they were just able to put up the act for a long time.
 happy people don't need to get validation from others...i don't think this means you can't enjoy it when it comes though.  i was blessed with a low self esteem which means that i don't tend to believe people when they tell me good stuff anyway.  still like to hear it even though i believe it's fluff. haha.  i am who i am and i believe there are people who accept me for the person i am. i have a lot of aquaintences. i have a lot of friends.  i'd rather have a few close friends that i can count on than tons of aquaintences who move away when the crap hits the fan.
 happy people don't seek revenge or hold resentments. those are pretty similar in my mind.  i've never been big on revenge.  i can get ticked though.  eventually i let all things go though. you have to or you will be destroyed by it.  life doesn't always go the way you think, but often i find it turns out better than you expected.  that was another one...don't have expectations.  i love the movie, "leaving normal" just for this.  it is just a reminder to not have expectations. i think society drives people to have unrealistic expectations that ultimately brings on a great deal of unhappiness.  i try to let the world give me what i need and accept it.  life hasn't always gone the way i thought it would, but i am living in alaska, i'm healthy and in general life is fabulous.  i remind myself that my dogs and i live  better than most people on this earth.  i have it pretty dang good!
 another thing...they don't argue just to be right. i think it was darla that said tom has learned that it's good to say, "i may be wrong".  we may all be wrong sometimes.  often even if you are sure you are right, it's not always worth the battle.  you do need to stand up sometimes though.  you shouldn't have to always be right, but by that same token it's not possible that you are always wrong either.  there is usually a compromise, but if you are finding yourself losing all battles or if issues are moral or ethical you may have to make some changes in your life.  on that same vein, once a decision is made on an argument you have to let it go.  bringing crap up over and over and holding over people doesn't do much to improve relationships.  it can be tough, but eventually you have to let crap go.
 i'm a ruminator at times...happy people don't tend to overthink things.  i have to have one fault.  i can make myself a bit nuts pondering too much and too long.  usually, it's over something someone has said or done and i am trying to think of if or how i should react or respond to a thing. the bottom line is i tend to take things personal. i am happy people don't take things personal.  i am learning with age that often when you think a thing is about you, you really have nothing to do with's about the other person and you are just the person that was there at the time.
 not following the crowd or the herd as it were.  i've never been much of a herd follower.  i'm more of the beat to the beat of my own drum.  that has just come naturally to me.  i think others just recognized this in me. it would probably do me good to be a bit more similar to the others in the world, but that isn't the way i am.  i say what i am thinking when i am thinking it.  i've gotten better at filtering what i say a bit, but i think i am respected for the fact that i am honest and if you are willing to hear the truth i am who you come to.i'm sure there are people who don't like how outspoken i am, but i find even they do respect me. often in my life in all situations people have waited for me to speak up.  they were afraid and knew i would be willing. guess that is good, not totally can get me in trouble too.
 looking for happiness in the external.  stuff can make you happy for a few minutes but not for the long haul.  the same is true for relationships.  too many people spend their lives in the when this or that happens i will be happy....when i lose ten pounds i'll be happy, when i meet the guy or when i have a baby or when i get the job i want.  you have to be happy with your life now as it is!!
 just lost a doesn't end.  anyway, i enjoy reading little blips like that.  generally i find that i do pretty well on those. not sure why i thought of this but  i used to read cosmopolitan.  i remember a friend who i totally respected pointed out that pretty much every thing in there and many magazines like it were really just telling women how to get a man, find a man, keep a man, please a man.  the feminist part of me realized she was right.  why do women feel so weak around the male of the species.  i think it's always been an aspect of dating that i haven't liked.  it's this competition to win the male.  guess i have mostly felt that i deserved to be the prize to be fought for.  i'm not willing to go to battle to win some male. sadly, that isn't the way the game seems to work.  if i am seen as a companion worthy to persue then so be it. otherwise, i won't spend my life trying to be something i'm not in order to play some game.
 not sure where that comes from except that so often i find that people feel badly for me for being single.  even my brothers when they were here seemed to have a protective thing. they both asked about my retirement plan, general morgage questions.  are they worried that i am out there with nobody to take care of like my mom always seemed to be or do i seem inept and they fear being stuck taking me in when i fail. not sure.  i often find that being single is the big secret to happiness that nobody tells you.  i think if you find the right person that works with you, then go for it.  if not then don't try to make a relationship work just so you aren't alone.
 tom and darla...this suspension bridge was abit too wobbly and crooked for me.  lost my lens cap over the side as i tried to cling to the ropes.
 there were salmon running below.
 we saw some fresh scat and bear tracks.  that seemed to get my brothers attention.
 we walked at a good pace for a bit and then took a break here on a platform meant for camping.
 suppose i've rambled enough again for one day.  this was rambling, not ruminating. i'm not ruminating of late.
 we stopped along the way for blueberry picking as well.  there were some plump and juicy berries on the other side of the lake
 some dogs like berries, not sure blossom has even tried them.
one thing is for sure....bears do like them.  my picture didn't turn out so the one above is from darlas photo.s  thanks!!  it's not often you see bear poop this purple.  so be happy,enjoy each day and each joy that is gifted you.  night.

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