The Reluctant Activist...

 I never intended to become an activist.  being an activist was for other people. i went out to Round Island back in 2002 i believe.  at the time i recall thinking, "someone really should create a friends group for this place".  that someone was not me.  surely, running a friends group was for someone else, someone much more capable.

 10 years later, once again, i had the opportunity to go out to Round Island.  once again i found myself thinking,"someone should create a friends group for this place".  again, i didn't believe that someone could be me. other people did this, not me. 

 two years later, the funding was dropped from Round Island.  i can't help but suspect that if i had listened to that voice and taken action, the funds would not have been dropped, they would have had a tougher time dropping funding if there had been a friends group. 

 the dropped funding did spur me into action though.  finally.  i still did not believe myself to be capable, but i went on line, i asked friends, i spoke to others who ran non-profits, started non-profits and step by step Walrus Advocates of Round Island Sanctuary was created.

 did i gain confidence as i went along, not really.  but at some point things become bigger than you.  having fear is really a selfish state.  allowing your fear to prevent you from doing good is selfish.  giving into fear is selfish. 

 i do not like calling random strangers, representatives, DC....those phone calls were terrifying.  i made scripts to help me not sound like an idiot and i made the calls.  speaking in front of elected officials was terrifying.  i did it anyway.  i recall signing up at a meeting with representatives to speak.  i was nearly paralyzed with fear at the prospect of signing my name on the list of those to speak...but it occurred to me that this wasn't about me.  this wasn't about my fear or my confidence.  this was about the walrus, this was about Round Island.

 nobody else was speaking up for this place, somebody had to.  so i mustered the courage and i spoke.

 speaking out, making calls. those fears rise up...but when you allow your passion to rise above your fears you can have success. 

 i dragged friends in on my crazy idea of trying to help Round Island.  thankfully, my friends were willing to help out.  i dragged family in who had degrees in law and experience with non-profits for free advice.  they were there for me. 

 we opened a bank account with our first $10 donation. 

 i emailed back and forth with the guy who had made this decision.  i made him believe that we, this tiny, up and coming non-profit to be, had power, had money...even though we really had just opened an account with only $10.

 i made phone calls to the president of the Sealife Center and made her believe the message. i emailed some film makers that had posted a video of a fox eating a gopro on Round Island and let them know the place was in trouble.  enlisted friends to help me stuff envelopes sending out the distress call to everyone we could locate who had been to Round Island as a visitor.

 i wrote opinion  pieces for the newspaper, that were actually published.  we put together a change.org petition that generated over 8000 signatures that we then hand delivered to fish and game and to the Governors office.  i spoke to people in DC.  in the meantime i went through the steps needed to become a non-profit. 

 someone tried to control how we did our non-profit at some point...i almost gave in because of my own fear...but then i realized...that guy could have started this non-profit himself, but he didn't.  the fact that we had ,meant we could do things how we wanted.  that he was just giving advice, that we were free to take that advice or not.  he thought our name was too long, which is probably is, but the acronym of our name sounded like walrus and so i thought that was cute.  WARIS

 he set himself up as an expert, but what is an expert except someone who has taken the time to do the research, who has taken the time to learn what is needed.  i was not expert but i was capable of learning.

 we are all capable of many things if we can only fight back the fear inside of us that stops us. 

 we all  have passions, likes, loves...whether it is a place, an animal, a cause, a building....if we can all fight through our fears and realize what we are capable of we can each work together to make this a better place.

 at least now, for myself, i can know that i am not just complaining but i am doing.  did we help Round Island secure funding.  i didn't make the money, fund raising is not my best skill.  i do like to believe that we were the thorn in the saddle that forced the hand of those making the decisions.  i like to think that we put the pressure on the right people.  that we made them think we were big and powerful and capable.  i know my opinion piece did irritate the hell out of the guy who took away the funding.  i got some late night email which turned into a sweat inducing email battle.  he had no power over me though, i had the power, i could say all the things i suspect others wanted to say but couldn't.  he wasn't nice, but i can take that too. I'm a nurse.  I've heard worse things.

 funding has been found each year, miraculously...thankfully, there are people in fish and game who are also passionate about this place.  it seems that anyone who goes there holds it in their hearts.  i don't think I'm the only one who felt the same as i left this amazing place.....that someone should start a friends group.

 it was just that i was the one who took action when the funding was cut off.

 Round Island is truly a magical place. i still feel that. 

 so i reluctantly carry on as the activist.  what i have learned about walrus and about the environment is still just a drop in a bucket of the information out there.  i remain much less of an expert than i could be.  the more you learn in life though,the more you see there is to discover. 

 an open mind, an open heart and some courage will take you places you never imagined. 

 i suspect i am now the crazy walrus lady.  there are worse things to be. 

 it would be worse if i was still saying, "someone should start a friends group". 

 these are from Seward in February. 

 this beach is on the other side of the bay, down Nash RD. 

 i was beat yesterday.  was thinking of going to Byron, saw pictures it looks so beautiful, but friends texted and there was a walk in town for charity.  i stupidly or bravely opted to do that.  so i paid money to torture myself with a long leash walk with the dogs.  Ivy did great.  my friends actually helped out immensely and just took her leash. she had a few outbursts.....mostly because she had gotten too far away from me. 

 Tusker, that rascal.  he is still pulling on the leash.  no disasters, just extra work dealing with them for nearly 4 miles around lots of other humans and dogs in slushy snow.

 on the way back...i had to ride back so i opted to just do the walk backwards.  i let them off leash.  they are in some ways angels off leash.  i got so many compliments on how well trained/behaved they are.  they do impress with their ability to stop at my request and stay while bikers/joggers...pass by. one guy stopped on his bike, i told him he was safe to just bike past them.  he didn't believe me and instead got off his bike and walked it past the dogs with his bike between himself and the dogs.  he said he'd had hip surgery recently and didn't want to take any chances.  the dogs didn't move.

 some time later, he came back through.  i again put the dogs in a stay, this time he stayed on his bike and rode past with a big smile and a nod. a jogger passed twice as well.  the second time past with the dogs sitting in a stay she gushed to me about my well behaved dogs...it is nice to hear. 

 cairns...

 someone posted this silly article denouncing cairns...somehow claiming them as some sort of ecological disaster.  a few made comments.  i of course, had to respond.  with all the crap going on in the world it is funny to me what makes people get so pissed off. 

 this guy commented back that somehow people make cairns as some sort of proof that they exist.  we make cairns being well aware that they will end up crumpled and destroyed....not necessarily by people who find pleasure in kicking them over.  i informed this commenter that i do not make cairns as proof of my existence. that i had really started making cairns as memorials for a great dog lost. he never made another comment.

 went with friends to see the movie, "Chappaquiddick" last night.  it was more about the cover up of this event.  we will probably never know exactly what happened.  money and power can cover a lot of sins.  i think that is why so many of us like to believe there is a higher power that will one day sort out the good and evil of this world.  we like to believe that there will be  fate that awaits those who seem to get a pass in this life.

 we all know a woman died, we all know a car went into the water...we all know there are people probably out there who still know the truth of it and will take it to their graves.

 it's a little less easy for those in power to get away with stuff now i hope...the media is less accommodating than it was in those days.

 things like Chappaquiddick is why so many of us want a free and obnoxious press.  we abhor organizations like Fox who have become less news outlets and more propaganda. keep asking the questions.

 the NRA through representative and board member, Ted Nugent, has stated that Democrats and media and others  are like rabid coyotes and suggested people get their guns and shoot them.  nice...this is who you support if you support the NRA. it is serious to speak these things in a position such as he is in.  it is also odd that there are so many NRA members who are RUs.  they do not have the right to bear arms in RUs.  why so much support from Rus?  strange.

 better get my day started.  Monday walk...maybe the last of the season.  it's time to get out and about.

 our lecture is tomorrow.  i haven't heard a confirmation from our speaker...above may be part of my speech if he doesn't show up and i am pushed into speaking.  i guess it's not the worst thing. i have been out to the island 3 x so i guess i could pull it off.  hoping i don't have to though. I'm sure everyone would much rather hear Ryan.  :-)

 another beach another dastardly cairn...I'm so rough on the environment with these.  haha.

 with these flat rocks i was impressed how many i was able to stack up.

 haven't seen the cairns in the creeks these past years by the one cairn artist that used to make them...maybe he got tired of jerks who hated cairns kicking them over.

 arts and crafts, been working on beaded bracelets..just testing it out for a possible fun sales things for WARIS.  only problem is that i only have so many of the right alphabet beads in any given package of alphabet beads...hmm. they are kind of cute though. 

 not as cute as these puppies, but what is

 we did close to 19,000 steps yesterday, close the day before as well.  still each day these guys act like they have never been walked a day in their lives.  silly pups.

grateful for: A.  all the support from family, friends and strangers when creating WARIS  B.  the times i push myself past my own fears C.  examples of people who seem fearless and face the challenges of this world