it's after midnight, do you know where your moose is???

always those precarious moments when walking the trails of alaska. i came upon a mother and her two calves. the calves were originally up the hillside and the mom on the other side of the trail. did the loop around beer can lake (campbell lake). didn't get much for pictures as they were mostly in the trees. did get this one nice shot of the male calf. he's quite handsome. the calves came down the hill to join thier mom and in the end, in the interest of time, i went up the hill to give them some space. of course, this meant me getting some devils club in my arse.

the pups love beer can lake. blossom did some swimming and dock diving after the walk. this is the two of them snuggled up together in the car. blossom sits up front and doesn't look too happy that rio is working her way into the space.

got my flu shot yesterday morning. my arm is raised, red and sore!! looks lovely. i thought swimming would help, but it's still just sore. wonder if it's the swine shot i believe they put in there. i asked for info and sharon went to get it, but then there was a patient in the emergency and all was getting a bit nuts, so i just went home since report was over. for years i never got the flu shots and i always had a horrible cold a few times each year. since getting the shots i've been cold free. hmm?? since i get sick for over a month when i get a cold bug, i'm happy to just skip it all. always controversy over the shots. i did skip the swine flu shot when it finally came out in like jan/feb. by that time i had quite literally taken care of the sickest swine flu patients in all of alaska it seems and so i felt that if i hadn't gotten it by that point i was safe. did fine. i just don't like getting shots, especially when my body reacts such as this. the last time i got the tetanus shot i could barely move my arm for a week it was so sore and swollen.

above rio enjoys the day. i got a late start, but no matter. tomorrow i'm back to work though and i have some ridiculous mandatory class to attend beforehand. 2 hours of wasted time, but at least i get paid for it. hospitals waste so much money on these silly training courses. it won't help me be a better nurse. in our quest for patient satisfaction we've gone all soft and fuzzy and forgotten the basics of what a hospital is here for. i'm all for family involvement, but we do need to keep in mind that for the most part they are in a fragile and emotional state. i think what they want is to assured we are doing all we can for thier loved one, and working hard to make them better. i think most people would rather just forget they were even in the hospital. in the end they are reminded by reams of mail telling them of the money they owe and quickly forget all the good care they recieved while they were sick. JAHCO has cost hospitals major bucks which has then been passed along to patients. many things are good ideas in the begining, but over time, they overstep and lose sight of what thier original goals were. the main thing i've noticed is that i have to constantly prove to JAHCO that i know the exact same thing i knew last year and therefore i've less opportunity to learn new things. so annoying. just speaking of JAHCO gets my blood boiling and my blood pressure up so i avoid it. that is the answer to anything stupid one must do in the hospital though, JAHCO.

it was a lovely day and one of the reasons i chose this trail in kincaid is this little view of denali when it shows up. who doesn't enjoy a view of the big mountain? so there she is.

swung by costco on my way back from the trail...yet another reason to choose that trail. i like to bunch stuff together so as not to use as much gas. jeff, my brother, called while i was in costco so fun to chat with him. also spoke to my sister. i'm sure i spent way too much as i was gabbing on the phone while shopping. did buy the latest season of bones that just came out.

blossom looks so cute in the leaves...

the candy is stocked. i like that show "the closer" and liked that she had a candy/snack drawer in her office so i now have one as well. i make my friends crazy as apparently when other people have a bag of chocolate in thier homes it doesn't last long. i have leftover candy from last christmas no doubt and i generally just take the aging candy to work. i find that in a hospital, all food will get consumed.

watched one of those real life emergency room shows while i got ready for work the other night. a young girl had accidently swallowed a large fork. apparently bulimics lose the ability to procure emesis with just thier finger over time and utilize longer and longer objects to induce vomiting. who knew?? very strange. i am not bulimic nor anorexic. i do recall being in a gym class and a girl sitting next to me was pointing out a girl a few rows down who had lost a great deal of weight during the summer. we had no idea what these disorders were at the time, but she described how this girl ate whatever she wanted and then simply vomited it all back up or used laxatives to shit out the calories. as i had, myself, gained what seemed like many pounds, this was pondered at length. i even went so far as to purchase laxatives. i really don't like vomiting. in the end in my simple mind i decided it was better to be a little chubby than to shit your pants accidently in junior high. the laxatives were never utilized.

in the end i'm pretty healthy i think, though in truth none of us can know what brews inside us. i see plenty of folks who were just fine one day and dead or nearly dead the next. the only guarantee in this life is that it will end, sooner or later. i'm all for later as long as i still have an intact mind and some independence.

new poem

-

she sat in the desert,

holding her child,

he was ill,

the medicine he needed,

not available in her village,

across the globe,

another child,

recieves medicine,

that child will live,

hers will not.

-

often at work i see patients who have limited hope of any sort of productive life due to the major medical issues they have. yet, we do everything possible for those kids. they are born here in america. we have the means to keep tiny, premie babies alive, to cure traumas and diseases. in the poorer regions of our planet these babies would simply die or be put out to beg and try and collect funds til they perish. i often think of the millions of dollars that i see spent on one life here in america when that money could save thousands of lives abroad. what i see though is one mother, one mother with a child who is sick of a preventable or curable disease who won't be able to help thier child. in my mind i see those mothers and their dying babies when i take care of patients here who are completely incapable of any sort of recovery and yet we keep doing more and more to keep them alive because being alive in our nation is enough. i often wonder what those dying babies would have possibly been able to contribute if they'd only been given a vaccine or some fluids or antibiotics. all the money i see spent on just one patient here that could have saved thousands elsewhere. is a life less of a life if it is born in another nation....or should that life be just as valued. i would hate to have to explain to some mother holding a dying baby why her baby will die while one in america will be given every medical advance even when that child will not ever recover or contribute.