Tuesday, December 14, 2010

my dog looks possessed...!!

was a sleepy day today. guess we all have lazy days from time to time. i had the geek squad dude showing up, but i was still tired from going to bed late. after he left, i crawled back in bed and read a few sentences before i dropped into a sweet sleep. probably working 3 nightshifts after being sick for several weeks just wore me out. i think i didn't wake up again til nearly 2pm. eek! so i took a quick shower, ate "breakfast" and took the dogs out for a walk. we just went out to n.bivouac trails. couldn't stay out too long as the sun sets pretty early these days.
blossom's frisbee landed in this pine tree. first she circled it and tried to sort out how to get it out on her own and then she just sat down and waited for assistance. not sure why, but humans get red eye and dogs get green eye in pictures. the computer program only corrects for red eye...so she looks possessed.
did get the cards out, didn't get the packages out. i even debated driving down to the airport post office which stays open til midnight i think. oh well, maybe tomorrow i'll just brave the lines and get it over with. then i think i still have just a few to mail off and some local stuff for friends, nothing too crazy. managed to get a few of the christmas boxes out of the shed. christmas is already next week though so i think it's all kinda a bust this year. i'm working anyway and just have no enthusiasm for it all. some christmas's i get a bit sad and lonely, some years i totally get into it and other years i'm kinda whatever about it. it's never the same as when you were a kid and you really thought santa was coming.
in those early years of my life my mom always made sure christmas morning was all WOW. as the years went on, i think her life just got so busy, christmas can be stressful and exhausting at times. i do always like the lights and music and general atmosphere that comes with christmas. work was pretty depressing for me sunday night as well, i'm not very excited to go back. some days are just harder than words can describe and i know i failed at seperating myself emotionally from the situation. so i guess aside from being tired i just feel melancholy today.
layed on the couch and watched oprah. she had lisa presley on. she spoke about her marriage to michael jackson, and a bit about her father, elvis. i'm sure there were some things that she just couldn't speak of before and it seems she just wanted to kind of clear the air and move on. it was just interesting some of the psychology of her life. i mean her father was seen as being like a god and so was jackson. so it shouldn't be too shocking that she ended up with him. she used the word disposable a few times. it does make sense. with people like jackson and elvis, they just get used to always getting thier way, if they don't or people disagree or say something they don't want to hear...they just can replace them. she said that when her dad or michael were with her, present in the moment, you couldn't help but be sucked in, enamored, full. they were a presence and it was hard to get those moments with either one of them.
she was saying that michael wanted her to have a baby and she just wanted to make sure they were secure before she did that. that nurse or receptionist rowe? apparently she kept offering her womb up to michael and he'd say that to lisa...so she was disposable. she also saw that he was following her dads path with medications, drugs, doctors, whatever. it's like a runaway train. so much fame...their fates were cast in stone with no way to stop it. if you spoke your mind or said anything that was counter....you were just cut off. fame and fortune is a force to be reckoned with and few survive intact. i don't need fame, but i wouldn't mind hearing a few kind words from time to time, even if it's total crap.
but life isn't always up and one must move through the down times, learn from them. for many people all thier days are like my one day today was. they have that feeling of melancholy all the time. getting out for the walk does help me. i was really thinking of going for a ski this evening, but it was getting windy later this afternoon and with it already being cold, that just didn't sound too appealing.
that crazy man miller will still not concede the senate race. i wish he'd just go away at this point...makes me even more happy that he didn't get elected. believe i will get to bed at a more reasonable hour and hope that tomorrow is a more productive day and that work tomorrow night is less dramatic than sunday.

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