Friday, February 10, 2012

company in the bog...

woke earlier today, but then began coughing and headed back to bed for a bit. eventually, i got the girls out to the bog for a loop. this bull was chilling out there. his ears went back as we walked by, but as long as he doesn't rush to a standing position all is well. i let a woman go before me just in case the dogs spooked him. thought the picture came out well. only one i took. a rough year for our moose population. the snow is deep and heavy. blossom has a rough time getting out when she retrieves her frisbee, i can only imagine what it must be like for moose. i'm officially bored with myself and ready to re-enter life a bit. still coughing though so that could be limiting til that settles a bit more. at least i don't feel like such a germ and i haven't had a coughing/puke thing for a few days. there is hope...the eternal light at the end of the tunnel. speaking of lights. i was in my 20's when i finally was directed to a very good pulmonologist. he was able to convince me that i had a serious illness in this bronchitis and that i needed to take it seriously. oddly, low self esteem kept me from believing that anything about me was important enough to take note of. i figured as long as i was walking i was doing good. at one point i had bronchial pneumonia like this time, bad, but i kept biking and lifting weights and all that. i even headed to mexico to do the rosarita to ensenada 50 mile bike ride. when i returned i went to see the doctor. he wasn't impressed that i'd riden 50 miles like this and instead stated that i was to either head to bed or he'd admit me to the hospital. i was shocked. i'd never taken this lung stuff seriously. he was finally able to get it in my head that this was a serious issue that i needed to manage. i remember once after talking with him i realized that this was possibly how i would die one day. complications of my bronchitis. that woke me up.
above is some neighbors dog who apparently isn't taking that 6 foot fence around his yard too seriously. the snow must be piled up pretty good in that yard. i was just surprised to see him out there this morning.i'm sure i will make up for my lack of pictures this week on another day. maybe i'll do a little driving tomorrow. i start to go stir crazy sitting around the house. i'm trying to go without the hycodan tonight. i may end up awake at 2 am taking a dose, but at some point i have to try without. helps you recover if you don't have that hycodan hangover to bog you down. the animals love having me around all the time i think, though blossom could use a few longer walks. so i'm recovering, i'm bored, i'm sick of feeling like a shut in. when i get sick is when i wish there was someone in my life who gave a crap. it is what it is though. soon i'll be back to my normal self mentally and physically. wallowing in self pity is a good sign though, most of the week i just didn't feel up to it.


  1. When I feel that way (like there's no one who gives a crap), I remind myself that a lot of paired-up people are just as miserable and their partners aren't there for them, which seems like it would be worse.

    Either that's going to help or it's going to be even more depressing...


  2. totally agree. it would be way worse to be in a relationship and feel like that, and there are plenty of people out there who are. thanks!