Saturday, February 4, 2012

i am a snot factory

at least lately i only get the big bad bronchitis once a year. i get it pretty bad though. all the coughing is just exhausting. it also seems to burn alot of calories. i am hungry all the time, but too tired to cook really so i just snack on various items that don't look or taste at all appealing to me. only to feel totally hungry a few hours later. these are the days when being alone sucks, but then my coughing and snot is so bad i would feel terrible for anyone trying to live with me anyway. so far i haven't done the cough then vomit thing. close, but not yet. read, watch tv, play some games on the iphone, sleep...repeat. that is pretty much the last several days. poor blossom didn't get out for a walk thurs or friday. today was beautiful and i wish i'd had the energy for a longer walk, but we did manage to get out to the bog for a loop. blossom was thrilled. it always does my soul good to be walking, even if i'm slow and short of breath. took a few pictures, mostly because i had to stop so often to cough and blow chunks of snot out my nose. i feel terrible that i've called out sick 3 days in a row. i tend to go back to work too early due to said guilt though and my coughing makes others give me those looks that say what the hell are you doing at work sounding like that. i have some history with sickness and guilt though. when i was a kid and was febrile i would be haunted by this short, fat guy and a tall skinny guy. they would taunt me that i wasn't really sick and say horrible mean things to me. they were just bad dreams, but they came everytime i was sick. also had one boss call me at home when i was home ill and accuse me of lying about it. always paranoid. i have chronic bronchitis, which at this stage of life really means i have a reactive airway issue. when i get a cold bug it doesn't just run it's course like others colds, it turns into an airway issue.
the trail opening to the bog is usually level with the street. currently we have a mountain to climb up and over to get to the trail. the first picture is in bog today, the second is blossom getting ready to climb back to street level. blossom swims through all our snow to get her frisbee. i required a nap after this i seem to after any activity. it was my plan to hit the supermarket right after this walk, but it took me til 9pm to do that. i'm happy i did if only to start the engine up on the car. haven't gone anywhere for days. my brain is so foggy that as i was in the cold remedy aisle i noted that i had several items at home that could have been helping me these past few days, but i just totally forgot them. i like that vicks rub and i also have a humidifyer that i can put the vicks stuff in right by my bed. did buys some smaller nosestrips as i had accidently bought a larger size and now have ripped off a chunk of my nose. ouch!more of blossom in the snow. she refused to go out there again and instead carried her frisbee to the other side of the field. she woke me up several times last night. not sure why. i'm wondering now if my breathing was concerning her and she was actually just checking on me? would a dog do that? one cool, happy thing from the week. when i was christmas shopping i found these little solar operated flowers. you put it in the windowsill and when the sun comes up, the little thing starts bouncing around. silly thing brings a smile to me every morning now and i watch it slow back down and stop at a book this week, "remarkable creatures", a novel by tracy chevalier. have read several of her previous novels and have always enjoyed them. she just writes a book that is easy and entertaining to read. about fossil hunters out beachcombing. i guess parts of it are based on true stories of a fossil hunter who made some discoveries. a different time and women had different roles as well as classes being more delineated. always fun to read about rebellious women of years past making a mark in the world. it wasn't easy in those days at all.also watched a lot of mind numbing tv shows. several realities. a new one tonight i'd never seen before. "cat from hell" or something like that. a sort of harley dude cat whisperer. couldn't figure out why he kept bringing a guitar case in with him to talk to clients until he opened it and it was all set up with various cat toys/treats. very funny.have also spent time between naps playing bejeweled. i am at level 80 i think. not too impressive really as i have it in zen mode so i am thinking you can't lose in zen mode. i'm chill with that this week. i feel like a loser enough. i'm sure there is dried snot on my face.also watched one of the netflix movies i have sitting here. "stupid, crazy love". wasn't bad. just not my most favorite, don't worry a guy who has spent years as a total womanizer will surely settle in with one and be totally monogamous if she is the right girl. it spend a great deal of time on the whole soul mate thing. soul mates are a bit of a pet peeve for me. i mean everyone in america marries thier soulmate and yet marriages frequently end in divorce. in this movies case...they are "soulmates" and yet she has an affair and then seemingly without a though requests a divorce. he then has like 10 affairs but since they are soulmates they miraculously get back together. sorry for the spoiler. do i believe in soulmates? i do believe it is possible that a few people have a somewhat cosmic connection with thier mates. i believe if it exists it's the exception not the rule. i also suspect it's not something people say of each other after dating a short time. i've met a few older couples where you just though, wow, they were just one of those lucky magical matches. i just think people want to believe that thier connection is something more than maybe it is. when they are treated like crap a movie like this gives them a false hope. not to say i hated the movie, it's just that whole soul mate thing was overdone and silly in the it is in our society. really tough to show the amount of snow we have out there. this is my view out my bedroom window...i know pretty sweet, right? at some point you do worry that the snow will become too much for the roof to handle. seems a bad idea to be out there shoveling it though. our avalanche risk is high.blossom covered in snow.did have to spend some time outside shoveling yesterday. i did it like all the activities i've attempted this week . short bursts of enery followed by exhaustion and a nice nap. hope i sleep better tonight. i so want to wake refreshed and feeling better. i'm already sick of hacking my brains out. i'm trying to stay off the phone too as talking just gets me coughing more can hardly see my car in this picture and you can see the snow level is over the front deck.these are from a bog walk wednesday. it snowed that day as well.almost time for meds and vicks. sorry to whine and complain. hopefully, my next post i will be more perky. was so depressing to have all that fresh snow and no energy to go snowshoe in it. pogi and ms breezy chatterbug. i've decided she isn't my cat, but really is blossoms cat. have never had a cat that adores the dogs and ignores me. she'll play with toys and stuff with me, but really she loves the dog.what would the cat whisperer think of that? goodnight....

No comments:

Post a Comment