Monday, February 6, 2012

every so often we all do stupid things....

last night mine was deciding to go into work. i always hem and haw about the calling out sick thing as i mentioned in my last post. guilt, guilt, guilt. after calling out 3 nights in a row i decided in my demented brain that 12 hours would be no big deal. longest 12 hours ever! not a smart idea at all. they would have coped though in truth they were short handed with me there as it was. the day charge had to stay until 11pm. we hear help is the time it arrives the censes will drop and then we will all be floating to nicu and complaining about having too much staff. sunday i walked the bog and then wandered out into the neighborhoods and up to patterson, then back home. just lengthens the usual bog walk. change of scenery anyway.many of our usually wide streets have been turned into one lane roads. kinda dangerous to walk the streets. sunday though so not bad. luckily people seem to be driving slower on the side streets, at least yesterday they did. the post office has to find your mailbox to deliver mail. felt reasonable yesterday. i always seem to conviently forget about "break up". never a good thing. either it's a relationship gone bad, the mess that comes post winter but before spring or in my case...all the crap in my lungs begins to mobilize and make it's way north. this means my coughing increases exponentially and i get miserable. my cough is the worst! i've had neighbors tell me they almost called 9-1-1 it sounded so horrible. generally, when my cough is worsening i am feeling better. that really wasn't the case last night. i'm sure staying awake all night didn't help. talking doesn't help either and it's not easy to not talk on a 12 hour shift in a hospital. i wore a mask in patients rooms. i'm sure they were concerned though. this is keva, a neighborhood friend. last night i brought everything i thought i would need to get through the night. it all pretty much failed me. right at shift change i culminated in a coughing spasm that sent me to the back room to try and control myself. coughed so hard i doubled over and proceeded to puke into my hands...luckily, i haven't eaten much over these last several days. it was totally disgusting! didn't do too badly overall through night, but this morning i was exhausted and losing it. i pinned my hopes on swinging by employee health on the way out and getting some perscriptions called in. i was hacking when i arrived, but the lady at the counter said that they had no room for walkins that morning. she said i could return at 10:15. there is no way in hell i could get back at that time. i was stretched emotionally and was about to burst into tears so i just left. in retrospect, if i'd burst into tears they would have no doubt actually seen me then. dang me for trying to be so tough and independant!! i then thought i'd drive to where i remembered a urgent care center being. it's no longer one. in my exhausted state the best option was to go home and sleep a bit and then try again. the monday walk was out of the question for me. they went on without me. it was such a pretty day. the pictures they texted looked like all were happy. :-) patterson...they have these cool sidewalk plowers in town. they are pretty quick in my opinion at getting out there on the main roads. when i woke a few hours after i'd fallen asleep i called employee health. they had an appointment available in like 20 minutes so i took it and loaded up the dogs. everyone was so nice and the nurse practitioner upon hearing me coughing asked if i'd been there in the morning. she recognized my cough it was so uniquely pathetic and horrible. she apoligized for them not getting me in and basically gave me anything i wanted. i was still on edge emotionally and almost started to bawl in the office. that is what lack of sleep, food and fluids does to you.
tonight in a happier home, blossom and miss breezy chatterbug enjoy the fire.after employee health i headed to the dog park with the girls. i took no pictures today though it was pretty out. we couldn't do the loop the normal way as there was a rather annoyed moose out there. some dogs were harrassing the poor thing. the moose are hungry, tired and irritable...i can totally relate! anyway, we backtracked and crossed the lake. the dogs enjoyed the change of scenery as did i.
figured i'd head to the pharmacy to see how long it would take to get my z-pack and hycodan syrup. it was all ready when i arrived! my day is improving!!! these are just pictures from the bird activities...and squirrel activities in my backyard feeders. the squirrel is like a pet..blossoms nemisis. he seems happy with him living situation and the birds are happy to so i don't chase him off. i think he lives in my shed. i took my first ab's and my first dose of antitussive and settled in for a nap. blossom woke me at dinnertime but i must say it was the first time i'd felt good for days. less cough, more able to breath. rest is critical! this is my sad tale in a consolidated state..though i doubt it sounds that way.did i mention taking a small dry erase board to work and trying to write on it and avoid conversations. i wrote, "trying not to talk, makes cough worse". i used it a few times, but it's hard not to talk in the course of a night at work...especially for some of us more than others!! off to what hopefully is a health inducing slumber and a better day tomorrow!

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