Monday, April 6, 2015

Happy Easter...and the last of Fairbanks trip

 nice sightings in Denali National Park.  caribou!!
 a few last dogs to keep you going until next years Iditarod.  right now i'm trying to avoid getting my tax papers together for my tax appointment tomorrow morning . so excited!!
 in the meantime i'm coughing like usual bronchitis fits.  it's viral induced and I'm a hot mess when it hits.  not only do you not want to be near me you don't want to live near me either. i've actually had  neighbors tell me they almost have called 9-1-1 due to my coughing and their concern.  i'm not boasting about my cough it's just that i do have a horrific cough when i get sick.  you have to hear it to believe it i think.
 my poor sister called me this morning to say hello and i think she was a bit surprised by how laid out i get by my coughing. it is exhausting, i will admit.  i try to stay as active as possible and rest between activities.  i didn't quite hit 10,000 steps today, but i am at 9555 or close to that.
 in my early 20's the bronchitis never totally went away, it got better, it got worse.  when i moved to South Dakota i was able to finally stop coughing/hacking after i'd been there for 6 months.  honestly, i didn't notice i'd stopped, coughing had become a habit, it never went away.  a secretary at work was the one who noticed i'd finally stopped coughing.  i can never live in Los Angeles smog again.
 after that i seemed to get a bad bronchitis bout at least 2x/year...way less than previous.  after i got to Anchorage and started working peds and got taking my annual flu shot...well now, i get sick much less.  in general i find that my rx for the inhalers expires before i need it.  i always say i'll go get the refill on the inhalers early, before i need it and then i seem to always forget until the option is gone.  grr.  i really should be better at that...but what it does mean is that i get these bouts now less than once a year.  so this is good.
 i started walking and exercising when i was in my early 20's...i had discovered that i was short of breath doing hardly anything.  walking and building my exercise stamina has been a great help for me.  today i walked on the trails with Blossom.  we did over 3 miles and i only felt mildly short of breath going uphill.
 Rio opted out of the walk today. i need to get her to go outside again.  there was snow on the ground this morning and Rio apparently was less than happy with this weather change.  it's really all melted away by now.  was able to go out dog poop collecting in the yard.  the ground is still frozen, but i can now start raking up the remnants of leaves from last fall.  don't feel too much like stuffing leaves in bags today.  after my walk i slept and dozed the afternoon away.
 no pool today.  i try to take it easy on myself for a few days after i get sick before i really work back up to my exercise.  swimming is actually a great exercise for those with respiratory issues though.  it is rhythmic and actually lends itself to breathing exercises.  it seems strange but it does seem to work.
 tomorrow is tax day and the next day i do the tire change over.  i tried putting my winter shoes away as well the other day but i did bring those back out for todays walk.
 need to work on the non-profits tax, which everyone has told me will be pretty easy.  we didn't make enough money to bring us any attention.  apparently we just send a card saying we made less than such and such.  i'll look into it more and check with the tax preparer tomorrow.  don't want to mess up everything we have done to get to this point and be a non-profit.
 many thanks to all who had faith in us and donated to help the walrus and Round Island. i'm not sure if i'll ever know if anything i did has helped but i'm happy that for now, things are looking promising for funding, though it's still not coming from the state and i think at least part of it should.
 we will continue to push for this and continue to be an advocate for the Sanctuary and these great animals that reside there.  hopefully, we can continue to work with other organizations and keep this place operating and the walrus safe.
 don't want to make any phone calls sounding like i do right now, but hopefully i can make a few calls when i get a voice back.  just want to check in and let groups know how much we appreciate their efforts on behalf of the Sanctuary.
 i lost a lot of my caribou photos due to excitement.  i'm human. i was so excited i neglected to notice that at some point i'd switched over to manual focus.  the group came right up on the road and stopped there...all those pictures had to be trashed.  oops!!
 i am sleepy. not sure i'll be less sleepy early in the morning though so i really will need to look over the tax stuff that i have.  thankfully, i'd gathered the information for my own taxes a bit ago.  i'm sure i missed a few things...i'm never as organized as i hope to be.  a trait i learned from my Mom.  :-)  do miss that gal.  we get both the positive and negative traits from our parents.  they aren't perfect and neither are we.  we all try to be a bit better than the last generation and i'm sure in some areas we are and in others, well, in others we fail.
 my parents were good people and i think i'm doing okay in the grand scheme of life.  i think they liked me how i was, how i'd become.   i could tell my Dad was pretty excited that i was living up here.  i remember him on a visit to Ketchikan.  he was so happy....we took a float plane out to Misty Fiords and he just stood out there on the float of the plane on that remote lake.  we finally got each other.  he was happy for me, accepted me for who i was...after all those years of us having no understanding of each other, we finally did.  we just needed to get on a float of a plane in the middle of nowhere to get there.
 it was fleeting and my Dad never said it, but he really didn't have to.  i knew at that moment he was proud of me and the choices that i had made in life that had brought me there. i know he would have preferred in some ways for me to have stayed Mormon and had that life, but really, on that float, i know that he knew i was happy and that the choice i had made to leave the church was the reason i was happy. i had acceptance and i had his blessing.
 my Mom was more offended i think that i'd left Mormonism.  in all honesty i think my Dad accepted it more because his faith was actually stronger.  i think when you believe something that strongly you are more able to allow others to believe differently.  i know that probably doesn't seem to make sense as i write it, but i sense my Mom was Mormon more for the social aspects, it was a "good place to raise kids".  i'm not saying my mom had no faith or was a non-believer, it's just that it was a different sort of thing with her.
 for me i could never be a sort of in Mormon.  the history and the things they believed to be "true" just didn't work for me.  in many ways i'm more like my Dad i think.  i had to be all in , all believing.  anything less just wasn't going to work for me.  if i wasn't all in, all believing than i was just another hypocrite.
 people join and stay in religions for various reasons.  if it works for you, if it helps you be a better person, if it helps you raise better kids or whatever it is, then go for it.  each person has to decide for themselves.  if it brings on hate and judgement than you may need to consider walking away.  i've read all the scriptures that were given to me and i really just don't see those things relating to the Jesus Christ i read about and understood.
 He had many cautionary tales.  mostly His message was one of Love and Kindness and Acceptance.  Judge not lest ye be judged and Love one another.
 i've just come to try and live by the simplest of his lessons.  i don't think any of us are expected to be scholars, we are expected to love and be kind, to not judge.  i think that message extends to the animals we share this earth with and the places which were created. created for our enjoyment and use, not to be destroyed and tarnished beyond repair.
 why a moose and a caribou and  a wood bison..why not just one type of cow for us to eat.  why hundreds of types of butterflies and even mosquito's, why?  whoever and whatever created this place obviously, the details..the details were in the design.  i'd lean towards science and selection but still that is grossly simplified, right. the beauty of this earth can't be explained by the creationists nor can it be totally proven by the evolutionists.  i just know, if i want to feel close to whatever power this earth has, i go out into Nature and there is where it is.
 it's not in a building or a's out in nature.  if you don't respect the earth and the animals and insects and fungi and all of the other miracles out there...well you disrespect whatever created it all.
 so Easter...mostly, admittedly it was just another day for me.  obviously i think about Christ and all that has been created here.  i am also reminded to try and be the best person i can be and hope that this will be enough for whatever awaits us when we die.  and if there is nothing waiting for us out there, then i will have lived a good life...not to get to some heaven or kingdom but because it was the right thing to do.
 it's right to be kind and understanding and non-judging.  it's right to be respectful of all, even the least of these they human or insect.  do i swat flies and kill mosquito's, yes i do but i don't go out of my way to kill more than are causing me pain.  live and let live.
 these just show the wind blowing on the drive back to Anchorage.
 it was pretty breezy.
 you can see it in the distance as well as up close.
 the earth protects us and the earth can destroy us.  i don't believe anyone is safe from the elements.  some of it is just random, most of it really.  when it's your time, it's your time.  miracles do seem to happen but mostly it seems happenstance.  why does one guy survive and the rest die or everyone survive and only one die?  happenstance.  the guy who survived is not necessarily the better person. i always hated when some one survived something and suddenly everyone spoke like that person had somehow been chosen by God to God cared not a lick about all those other people.
 so much about organized religions bothers me. many have become more corporations than houses of God.  there is always good, but i remember hearing as a youth.."the church is true, the people are not necessarily".  at some point if enough people are perverting any religion, it can no longer hold the truth anymore. God may give a message but that message can easily be corrupted by man.  it's up to each of us to find our own way through and decide.  ultimately, it's how you as an individual lives your life i suspect.  good grows from even the seemingly most wicked sources and bad grows from a place that can seem heavenly.
 have a i preached, i hope not...mostly i have rambled. hopefully i have not offended.  i mean nothing, my words mean nothing.  they are just my own ramblings and my own thoughts. i don't write to alter others values or opinions, but only to express my own.
 most of the time, nobody asks.  below is Denali, the big mountain peeking out
thankful for: A.'s interesting and debating the various ones have brought me to where i am and i am happy.  B.  the details C.  the peace of nature.

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