Thursday, December 1, 2016

Where's Blossom....?

 went to the dog park at University Lake again today.  ran into many whom i have known there for years.  so the questions came up several times, "where's Blossom?".  several hugs and more moist eyes....
 still trying to wrap my head around her being gone.  nice to have such kindness and support from my crew at the dog park...the dane gang.  we are the danes and the doodles...but one less doodle.
 i'm sure this question will come again and again over the next weeks/months.  Blossom touched many lives in hers.  still grapple with the thoughts back and forth.  some of those questions that invariably come when you lose a dog suddenly.  the pain of not being there in those last moments, the hope that she wasn't scared or feeling abandoned.  it all does come in waves like my friend CR said.  she lost her dog maybe a week or so before i lost Blossom.
 it could have gone worse i remind myself.  she could have just quietly passed away sitting by the front door and i would have just gotten up and found her gone.  she could have choked while i was sleeping or at work and again i would have just found her and not had any idea what had happened.  i still marvel that she was somehow able to get up and come over to me that night.  she could barely walk.  i remember it all so clearly.  she was so blue, so close to death in that moment.  so i try to remember that in a way this was a gift that i could be there for her and then have those moments again with her the next afternoon in a time when she was feeling more like my girl.
 no idea what surgical options would have been available for her and how horrible those last months could have been had we actually discovered the cause before she passed.  i try to just accept that things happen the way they are meant to happen and we must carry on and accept it.
 i've been thinking of a few nights ago when Tusker suddenly and randomly started looking directly at the ceiling and making a little grumbly noise.  there was nothing there that i could see, no noises, the room above was closed and empty.  he did this at least 10 times in 3-5 minutes.  what was he sensing?  what was he seeing?  it had to have been her.  i hope she is okay, i hope she knows what an amazing companion she was.  i hope she forgives me of my imperfections.  i hope she had a wonderful life here.
 the pups had fun at the dog park.  lots of leaping by Ivy Rose of course.  she loves those danes.
 the kids on the rock by Blossom's second memorial.
 memorial #2.  it's my process.  i hike, i write, i photograph. it's how i get through things in life.
 snow today.  the pups had tramped down the entire yard before i returned from work  they should be fairly tired for my second night at work tonight.  no disasters so far.  they have been doing pretty good.
 worked PICU last night.  may be there all week.  it's that time of year.  kids getting upper respiratory illnesses.  it can get nuts there and it usually does.
 the ashes are just a symbol of their life.  it is good for me to be releasing them.  i think there is always this part of me that is jaded and wonders if they don't just measure out random ashes to fit the size of whatever dog.  don't want my dogs to become another "thing" in my life.  there are too many things in our lives.  as i look around my place and all the other things i've collected.  there is much i should purge.  what do we really need?  she is forever in my heart as are all the other pets who have come and gone in my life.  i sometimes just sit and scroll through pictures.  i have plenty
 these are from the other day when i went to the beach with the pups.
 this young moose is right on the trail...we had to skirt around.  the mama moose was pretty far off.  on the walk down to the beach we had 4 moose encounters.  puppies did really pretty good.
 love when they bend down to eat.  so cool.
 it was a beautiful day out there. cold, but so pretty.
 for sure a bit warmer out there today.
 the ice has come in since last time i was there. love taking photo's around the ice.  just a totally different beach

 the pups had a great time running and running.  freedom!!
 Ivy is still a bit pink from Sunday.  not much left but that got many questions at the dog park as well.  it really does suit her personality though. spot her in the snow, early warning or a remnant of my little celebrations of the life of Blossom, Rio Catalina and Baby Huey.
 guess i shall try to get a wee nap in before i head back to work again.
thankful for: A.  each walk, each day, each memory, each photo of of the best dogs to ever run/walk and swim this earth.  B. the kindness of folks you meet out walking  C.  dogs in general, my life would have been much less without them

1 comment:

  1. Ahhh, still wish I could be there for a few walks with you.