no, i'm not pregnant!!

 

my 80 year old patient asked me if i was last night. i wear a vest and my pockets are packed with my phone/wallet and i can see how it may appear as a pooch.  i took it as a compliment that at this age it was possible for someone to see me being pregnant as possible. 

it's not something i have ever been asked. 

these are all from late October, early November. ice is king

our world changes pretty dramatically.

a little photo session with the dogs thanks to my friend SH. 

worked ER last night and was able to come home a few hours early, which is always great. i know, i'm supposed to be working more in order to save money for Ivy's surgery.  

started to get moving to take them for a walk and she was limping a fair bit today.  the next question will be when to do surgery and which side to start with. if she starts to limp more it will push the answer, watching which leg seems the most problematic for her. 

so we lazed about a bit. i'm always cool with that.

i stopped by the neighbors place to check on her. it's always upsetting to get a note from your other neighbors.  i'd stopped by earlier as i headed out to walk but she had not answered.  before i work i stopped over again.  this time she did open the door.  she has the Rona i guess.  of course, wouldn't you wear a mask to open the door if you knew you had the Rona. she wasn't coughing and we did have distance....she looked a bit rough.  had felt too crappy that other night to stay home so she had probably left the dogs a bit longer than she usually would. i posted on the neighborhood group page just that she had been ill...so hopefully, they give her a little slack. 

i always love the icicles in the creeks.  these are mostly covered in snow at this time.

ER was steady but i think we are having less small stuff come in again.  people are doing less crazy crap or just aren't coming in unless they really do feel crappy

our positive counts today was under 500, it's been several days since we've had that. i'll take any positive signs.

there are a few less hospitalizations today than the last few days. 15 on vents so that number is up.

we seem to still be doing electives so we could decrease that.

me with a snowman out at powerline Pass. 

my handsome kitty cat!! 

i think i feel at the moment like we are heading into the thick of it and i will have enough stress to deal with. 

seems easier to cut out the negative that i have felt from some family members.  i just do not have the energy for it.  making those decisions in your life always have a calming effect.  at least for me.  it's the ruminating about things that is stressful. once you make up your mind you can more easily release it

i guess the same is happening with Ivy Rose. i see her limping more and i know that it's not if but when on her surgery.  

she is too energetic and young to have us all minimize our walking already.  walking is therapy for me and they enjoy it.  so you put the money in context of your overall mental health and i know that in the end all our lives will improve once she is feeling better.  now it's a matter of when. today she is limping.  other days she behaves like there is barely an issue until after the walk is over.

would like to build up more vacation time, get through the holidays.  plan more for the finance of it and the after care of it all. also need to call the pet insurance and see what amount i can expect to have return.  

it is why i pay for the pet insurance.  i could put the money into a pet savings account...but i know myself and i have never been the great saver.  i have my mothers spending tendencies. wasted money on stupid stuff at times. 

probably mentally how many of us live. have managed to get some nice projects done at home

i would like to see the iitoo out of office and know that things are safe in our nation in that way.  that all his crazy efforts to find a work around leaving fail.  the sycophants around him are making utter fools of themselves.  Guiliani had a crazy press conference it seems.  it's embarrassing. he had hair dye running down his face.  he looked like a total lunatic.  

one day hopefully some of these GOP members who have laid down their dignity will find a way to rise up from the gutter they have allowed themselves to fall into, groveling for the attention of the one who could care less about them personally and only cares that they are groveling.  he needs them weak to make himself feel powerful 

he demands their loyalty but will never actual return it.  how often has he pretended to barely know people who have been loyal to him.  he has no respect for his followers at all.  he just desperately needs their presence and praise.  there is always more to replace those who come to their senses or get caught in his web and dragged down to the depths.

he and the right abandon any and all without a care.  so many have had their names and reputations bludgeoned after they have spoken out, spoke truth. he and his right wing media and conspiracy theory crack heads swoop down with lies and conspiracies.  

i'm not sure how i'm still tired after sleeping/resting so much today.  

almost time to get ready for work again.

doubt i'll be home early or get any on calls for the next few weeks anyway.  i think that is why i take them when they do come my way. 

such a nobel face on this boy. 

i am loving the new counters/sinks in the bathrooms.  i have not forgotten that i want to get the floors done. still on my to do list. the dog just added a wrench into the to do list. there was a truck on the list as well.

that is how life goes for all us average folks.  always paddling upstream.  you think you are getting on top of things financially and then comes another expense. 

we just make priorities. 

i could have been born a trump or a Kardashian...what hell would that be.  no amount of wealth is worth it with some of these fools.  life is not fair for sure. God? how does a God allow idiots to have and decent folks to have not. 

there does seem to be a balance though.  with wealth comes issues that i never have to deal with.  people who are around you to use you.  life just gets more complicated with all that money and all those properties. you have to fire more and more people to manage it all.  can you trust them all? 

often i see documentaries or programs about poor families in poor nations.  their life is often a struggle and more simple but often in that simplicity they have a peace and happiness. 

they are smiling, their families seem closer. 

i know we all wish we had more money most days but in truth it can often lead to more problems than solutions. 

my sign to stop the daily leaflets from politicians.

it's already starting again.  there are signs up for the mayoral race in the spring.

snuggle time.  simple but enjoyable.

i may be joining them on the floor downstairs after surgery.

it's dark out there already.  just a few more weeks.

then things will  begin to brighten.  would be nice to have her feeling better and recovering before next summer...at least one leg. how much would she improve with one leg fixed? could i delay the next leg for a bit after that?

so many questions....

it got cloudy out today. when she seems more sore i give her the second pain med for the day. not sure it makes much difference and i've only had to do it a few times. 

those will run low as well.  will they refil or will they be giving me the side eye because i haven't done the surgery yet.

it's a tough world out there. hopefully my next nights at work go okay. one down a few more to go.  

thankful for A.  those who see me for who i am and give me acceptance. B. the animals that share my world and act as my family.  C. lazy days in the darkness of winter.