the sun comes up, the sun goes down..

 

i survive another day.  another bout of the melancholy. that is how it goes.  no doubt work stress and other stress in life add to it all. covid is stressing most of us out. 

these are icicles before the snow came and covered all the icicles up

still pretty just a different pretty.  this place is always pretty.  there is just a different thing to see on different days/weeks.

right now days are super short so i just get out and then i curl up and reheat in the bed most days.  lazy yes, but why not.

i get a few things accomplished. 

after todays walks i brought the pups home and settled them in so i could meet some friends for a little walk through the local garden.  they do lights for Christmas. of course, this year they had to make some adjustments for social distancing and all that.  so much is impacted. they did this stuff back just over 100 years ago and they got through it.  

not sure what attitudes were then compared to now 

i know many healthcare workers are getting pretty fed up with the it's no big deal, masks do nothing attitude. 

especially as the rooms keep filling more and more with covid patients.  the ER has so many and each + patient, even if they go home, takes extra time. we have to don and doff and after they go the room needs to be cleaned more completely than other patients....first some time is allowed to pass...then the house keepers can go in fully protected. it all just slows things down and bogs up the unit.

the same is true on the other floors.  it just takes much longer to turn over patients/rooms so it bogs down the entire system...a system that was usually bogged down enough as it is. 

what many don't understand either is that once the sickest get put on vents they take up a room/vent for weeks.  your average icu patient just doesn't stay that long so now you get more and more patients staying longer and longer.

lets just add to this that i see co-workers return from quarantine, or from having had covid...and many are out at any given time. we do not have a never ending number of staff to pull from.  

we are a remote place but sadly we are a remote place who seem to have a lot of covidiots. people who have become convinced that this isn't a big deal and that they hospitals/cdc are making up numbers.  that hospitals are some how getting paid under the table large sums of money to pretend there are more covid cases than they are.  that death numbers are being inflated or outright made up. 

many out there who believe their freedom is being infringed upon because they have to wear a mask and distance.  many who i doubt kept to low numbers at this last holiday and we will no doubt see in our hospitals over the next few weeks.  the annoying thing is when they get sick they will come running to us wanting to be fixed...from the thing they refused to believe existed or was a big deal.  the ones in the outlying communities that get really sick will be flown here at risk to the pilot and crew on board...they will run out of room at their tiny hospitals or they will only have clinics so will totally be incapable to care for those who get really ill. i can't imagine how full the native hospital is at this time.  i had hoped we could just keep them safe and keep travel down...but it's winter and it's cold and these small communities will be having a very tough time social distancing.  

these next pics are from a trek out to Denali National Park last spring. 

that is the big mountains.  it can often be seen from Anchorage. more often in the winter.

a little moose action.  we just missed a moose this evening at the garden light thing. nice, just a few friends.  thank you G for bringing the drinks.  very nice!!  much warmer this year than last year 

the guy we spoke to had made over 200 of the bucket ice lanterns.  i've been slowly making  a few out front.  

his were much better than mine were.  haha. 

these are caribou that i saw on the drive out from Denali in the park still.

they were just along the side of the road. 

i didn't get much further on Christmas stuff. but the cards are mostly all sent out and the calendars are ready to ship.  i just have to make a trek to the post office. check. most of the others out of state i'll just do online...keeping it simple this year.  

i'm working all the eves.  haven't gotten any texts the last few days so maybe they are doing okay at work.  i would only want to pick up like 7pm -2am...get home and in bed at a reasonable hour so that my days aren't totally screwed up 

at this point...with the numbers going up...seems better to just let go of other life irritations and stick with the positive on my days off.  keep it simple.  i really can't be bothered with those who can't be bothered with me.  

there is a relief for me just knowing that the iitoo is out and soon will be out of power. he can scream all he wants about fraud, he hasn't proven anything and has spend a great deal of his supporters cash trying to prove it.  i think one state the recount he paid for ended up finding Biden a few more votes.  Biden is the calm to his crazy.  i'm good with that.  we have had way too much of this fools drama.  his followers haven't yet sadly.  they will just keep on buying into all the bull. 

i can attest to how all that conspiracy crack creates anger and hate in those who have become addicted to it. they become different people.  it taps into their rage.  unless they find their own way out of it, they will drown in their hatred and rage.  that is their choice at this point. 

they have spent so much time blaming others for all of their own issues...not sure they will even be able to wake up from it all. 

loads of bald eagles...Deep Creek this past summer.  i got so many eagle shots.

just so crazy seeing so many of them all together.

i did head down that way fairly often.  

love when they hover over.

watched overboard this evening.  fun movie from a different time.  Goldie...she did some fun flicks.  brainless but fun. 

she did another fun one with Steve Martin.  she was a waitress, he an architect. she found out he'd built a house for a  girl who opted to not marry him.  as it was apparently empty...she moved in and lied about being his new wife. another brainless, but fun flick. 

i have stuck to brainless and fun for the most part this pandemic.  work is different stress than it was at the beginning.  still stressful.  you go in because it's your job, you learn, you face it, you find some acceptance. there is still a lot unknown.  still concerns that the gear will fall short, that the patient numbers will become overwhelming. 

nurses have always had each other and the extended healthcare team.  we get each other, we laugh through a lot.  

humor can make a lot of the worst of it not seem too bad.  we are there for each other.  we get each other and we support each other. 

i'm sure at times we all lose our shit as well.  when you work long hours in stressful situations you can show your best and your worst some times. 

we are all fallible and imperfect but we push through and try our best. 

the pets and nature keep me sane i think. the dogs are patient but they want to get outside. Ivy pays for it now and is non-weight bearing once home for the most part...but out there.  she uses the leg and limps along.  i figure we have a date for surgery now.  i'll let her do her thing knowing she will be very limited after surgery for a bit. 

using her muscles is a good thing..don't want her to waste away before surgery.  i suspect once we can get moving more and more she will do pretty well.  

left the feathers on the beach, they were all over, but it is illegal to collect them and save them.  kind of silly rule for up here considering how many eagles we have. 

it is the rule though.

the dogs always enjoy the birds. they have had a few raven encounters of late.  they love to bark at the ravens.  

my hikes aren't really all that exciting this time of year.  the darkness tends to keep me closer to home. not all that keen on driving on icy roads in the dark.  the low tides in Seward are in the dark right now so not worth the drive. 

the low tide here is around noon-1 so always possible.  love the beach here in winter with those big ice bergs.

would love to make a trek down to Homer in the winter.  may wait til the light is returning a bit more, otherwise i'm just sitting in a hotel in the dark. 

love my beach time...

with surgery at the end of January, i'm hoping Ivy will be ready to play at the beach by spring. 

the second leg...we will watch and see what happens once the right leg is fixed. perhaps she can wait months or years. i'm in no rush to do both.  the right is clearly the worst at this time

thankful for: A. the good days and the bad days.  how do you appreciate the good with out the bad. B. the many amazing people i have met through work.  healthcare folks are awesome!!  take care my people!!  we will get through this together...some how, some way.  C. that i am healthy enough mentally and physically to get out on the trails and refill my soul and that my dogs can still join me.