Sunday, January 22, 2017

sweet tangerine-positive energy-supports elevated mood and energy levels...

 that is the name of my tea tonight...of course, i actually poured myself a rare glass of wine.  i realized i have been having waves of anxiety over the last few days. spoke to my brother TP today.  we do not agree on much related to the new POTUS but i am grateful that he allows me to speak and listens. i'm not sure i'm as good of a listener and for that i apologize. i do try.  in actuality i think we agree about a lot more than we don't really....he's just more willing to overlook certain things in hopes of a better future i guess.
 of course, he never woke up with a guy groping his breasts either.  life is often altered by the events we experience.  the womens march was today.  i had really debated staying up after work and going and in some ways i wish i had...but night shift is not always conducive to such things.  i chose sleep
 also we got another 8 inches of snow...the roads were a mess.  being tired on not so safe roads is not the best idea honestly.  my flower garden is buried again....i do have a few new colors to test out on flowers next time...this garden is very easy to tend.  my neighbor loved it.
 does look quite smashing.
 there were gatherings around the globe really.  honestly, i think his words were so disturbing all through the election and even since and i think so many of us felt the need to put out there that we remember the words, we remember the tape we heard...and we won't so easily be put off.  he has never apologized for anything.  we can hope it's only words but as they say the pen is mightier than the sword and we should use our words wisely.  he is clearly not capable of this.
 i think one thing that really frightens me in all these crazy tweets of his is how petty and reactionary he is.  it makes him seem so weak and i don't want a weak POTUS.  it's how he looks to the world when he lashes out at the press for some slight or a movie star or a union leader or a family who lost a son.  he appears weak.  this makes us all vulnerable.
 they said he'd probably act more Presidential after he was elected...or after he took the oath.  it hasn't happened yet. give him a chance, he just took office.  i actually feel like each time i try to give him a chance there is yet another stupid tweet, or tantrum or bizarre selection for his cabinet.  he seems to care not for ethics or morals as far as himself is concerned.
 the alt right is already dissing on the march because in their minds it didn't include all women as pro-lifers weren't allowed or invited to speak.  i think many are just bitter that this was bigger than anyone expected.  Trump lashed out that folks posted pics of how many more people came to Obama's inaguration than his.  and so it begins...
 i am obviously more on the liberal leaning side....therefore, those trolls on the right would refer to me as a libtard or a snowflake.  i always thought the snowflake reference was pretty silly.  whatever....this morning i wrote a poem "because i wasn't there..."
 Because i wasn't there..
I am snowflake
You may see me,
As delicate and fragile,
Yet I brave the skies,
Fly in the winds.
I am unique,
An individual,
You see me,
But I drift,
With purpose.
I am never alone,
I am empowered
By a million other snowflakes.
Together we cover the earth,
Silence the noise,
Bring all to a halt.
Together we are stronger.
You see us as weak,
Beautiful, yes,
But do not forget our power.
Snowflakes united,
Create glaciers,
As glaciers fall,
We create tidal waves,
Snowflakes melt,
Into water,
Rivers, lakes, oceans.
 We are life,
Without us,
No life exists.
We snowflakes,
Create avalanches,
Taking all,
Who try to stop us along.
I am,
But a delicate snowflake,
Remember though,
I have friends.
Do not underestimate,
Our power,
Our strength,
Our tenacity.
We fall gently to earth,
But together,
We roar.
-Betsy Palfreyman 1/21/2017
 i have always enjoyed writing poetry.  i need to do more of it.  turn off the news and be creative again more.  write music, read.  it's so easy to get lost in all this technology we have available.
 that poem took me maybe 5 minutes to write.
 the tennis balls are slowly disappearing.  it's good.  had a twinge of sadness to see the memorial ones were gone the other day.
 i think i was actually wearing my Blossom hat.  Ivy kept sniffing the fibers.  did she recognize Blossoms scent.
 while i was here this day, Ivy started to jump.  i got ticked and yelled....of course, then i felt wildly guilty. truth is when i have a mini tantrum like this it mostly just gets her more excited thinking...great she's wrestling with me.
 i think i was frustrated this day as well because unknown to me the camera had gone into a delay mode so as i tried to take photo's it wasn't taking pics...took me a few to figure it out.  so she jumped when i was most frustrated.
 above is a delay shot..below is me wearing my Blossom hat
 as i drove home there was something on NPR.  i'll probably forget the details but the lady was speaking of kids and how when you have kids you have to face your reality.  what she was saying is that we all have this cleaned up view of who we are.  we can see ourselves as wonderful beings, but kids are there in the bad moments..for me not kids but the dogs too.  kids are much better at your language and very honest so i can imagine it can really bite.  still with dogs...when you flip and scream out and lash out, they are there looking at you. the blinders go off for a few minutes and you are slammed with your imperfections...the ones you had so carefully hid from yourself.
 i generally don't need too much assistance seeing myself as less than perfect.  i often pray for patience...i know it is not my best quality
 i can be quite sensitive as well.  i take a slight directed at me to heart more than many.  as i told a friend though.  that sensitivity that we both seem to share is what makes us so empathetic towards others.  it's why we have teamed up to try and help the walrus...we care.
 i thank my father as well as i know i have gotten some traits from him...some that aren't always seen as perks, but still i am grateful for them.  he was honest to a fault.  he was not someone to look to if you wanted a sugar coated answer.  he spoke purely, he wasn't afraid to be unpopular because he said what needed to be said.  maybe what others thought but would not say.
 some of the things that make me annoying as a human i guess make me a good advocate i suspect.  empathy, sensitivity, honesty, drive, a need to champion for those who are threatened and unable to fight for themselves.  also i think i have a gift of being able to write fairly well and my artistic side has helped out as well. suspect i was probably more high maintinence as a girlfriend than i ever saw.
 the frost on the trees is always cool.  totally covered with snow today no doubt.  a few walks in N. Biv.  one day i skipped the walk.  never called in the second night and worked ER the third.  didn't sleep well that middle night on call.
 Tusker out there. they have had a blast playing in the snow.
 me with frost and my new hat.
 these are from today.

 so much snow.  not too many folks on the trails. i suspect many were still plowing out.
 so fun watching the pups hop in and out of the deep snow.

 they are pretty tired tonight.
 put pink food coloring on Ivy soon after there.  the lens i have seems to be taking darker pics of late.  not sure what is up.  is it the lens/the camera or the operator?  not sure....chances are the operator.
 they got pretty coated with snow.  silly puppies.  no impatient moments today.  some days maybe i just cope better with life than others.

 time with puppies overall is great for lightening the mood.

 my Ivy's pink tail.  seemed a good color today.
thankful for:  A.  so many out there who marched in solidarity...what a great day for women today (most women anyway).  B.  snow, snow and more snow!  C. myself, the good the bad....we are who we are.

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