Sunday, January 29, 2017

pissed off..

 many things to get pissed off over of this is a rant...enjoy the pictures. they were all taken on our trip out to Hallo Bay this summer.  pissed off rants seem much less rude with bear photo' least in my mind.
 i was for sure an over sharer on FB today.  apologies...i vow to only have the occasional day of over posting...and when i say over posting i posted 7 things today, of which 4 were no where near what i have seen on some pages.
 these executive orders are really ridiculous.  i try to remind myself that overall there are still some checks and balances and that just because you say build a wall that doesn't mean they start digging tomorrow and that somehow billions of dollars are just moved over to whatever the current Potus desires. Obama wrote an executive order to close Guantanamo Bay in his first weeks and last i checked it was still open.
 still the pen stroke from Friday did impact people immediately and possibly will mean people who have already suffered more than i can imagine will now suffer more or possible die.  he put a ban on immigrants from certain nations.  these are countries that are in turmoil for sure but  they are also nations he has no invested interest in financially.  countries like Saudi Arabia...where most of the 9-11 crew of terrorists came from was not included. he was clearly targeting Muslims as well.
 people who were in flight with legal documents after months and years of red tape and vetting have been stopped and held at airports. people returning to attend school on visa's, people with green cards...all being held up.  if you go out of the country with a green card you can't be away for more than 6 months or you risk losing the green card. if you are out now and this travel ban lasts too long, you may be screwed.  people who are trying to get here who worked as interpreters for our military at great risk to themselves will be held up even longer or never get to get out.  these people risked their own lives and those of their families...and continue to as they are targets for sure in Iraq especially at this time.  these interpreters also saved many lives and were heroes really.
 lets not forget as well that leaving these poor souls to die over there sends a message to anyone in future conflicts to not help us at all as you and your family will be ditched and you will not get any help for the US.  mostly, this is not the nation ideals which i was raised learning of.
 our culture as someone said is a great human experiment...not an easy one as people do tend to live in like groups left to their own devices and yet here we mix all the tribes together and ask them to get along and work it out.  yes, it will be a mess, it will get ugly some days, but we are the lamb and the lion.  i love the melting pot that is America.
 people were going to the international arrivals at airports to protest and show support.  i think it was the ACLU that was able to get a hold of parts of this idiotic order through a judge.  i know some who have hated our POTUS the last 8 years are no doubt gleeful, enjoying us libtards being riled and rankered. i'm sure in their minds it's about time, they are loving that we are not getting our ways as they feel we have for years....their vengefulness may cost us our nation.
 am i being dramatic, sadly, i really don't think so. i'm not the only person i know who has had more than passing thoughts of taking our money out of banks and hiding it someplace for ease of exit.  not the only friend who has thought of there possibly being a need to relocate to another nation if things get really bad.  today at the store i bought some big jugs of water...time to get your emergency supplies in order.
 the main White House staff carry on POTUS to POTUS.  they are there no matter what party the POTUS is.  i suspect this paranoid leader baby will soon send them all packing and instead put in people that he can pay to control.
 talk of disolving EPA, the park services and EPA i believe are not allowed to tweet or share information.  can't talk to anyone.  freedom of speech is being trampled on.  this leader baby bashes the press at every turn.  silence the science, silence the press, silence the vote.  i know people think i'm sounding alarmist but he is actually destroying peoples faith in all these things.  chipping away at it with a huge chisel.  all this crap about the illegal's really just a way to make people lose faith in our election system the way he has successfully made many lose faith in science and press.  history says to be concerned.  history repeats itself.  i am concerned.   those around him are not pushing back at all.  they are all sitting back in suits with smirks on their faces....i am seeing the bulk of those around him now as his toilet paper.  not only are they beating each other off to kiss his arse, they are willing to wipe it as well with their faces.  they are so power hungry it seems.
 hoping there is action going on that i am not seeing.  that many long hours are being spent trying to unravel this mess and protect our nation for this leader baby and his toilet paper crew.
 not sure that i am capable of a civil conversation with some so i will just walk and blog and prepare and resist when i can.  write letters, make calls.  whatever it takes.  this bear is wearing a collar.
 we saw a few out there that were collared.
 lazy few days with the dogs.  the weather was crap. it warmed up and drizzled.  thankfully, all our snow is not gone but it got a bit icy.  more snow today. by the time i hit the trails they were packed down today. i did take some side trails to wear out the pups and myself.  pups found a few of the tennis balls that had fallen off.  another pup came along and snagged one of them.  they had fun playing all of them.
 that night i last blogged, i did get called in to work.  super busy that night.  had to run CRRT again. well, actually, my poor charge, MW had to run it since i am just the monkey who runs the machine and i don't set it up.  due to an extremely sick patient and extremely elevated white cell counts...the filter kept getting gunged up.  i think the 3 filters we went through from 2am to 6:30 only lasted like 1.5 hours max each.  crazy.  pt was guppy breathing on the vent...not a good sign...lets say i didn't have that assignment the next night for a heavenly reason.  sad week really.
 my old Resource Pool Manager passed away.  she had been sick and had retired early due to her medical issues so i guess we knew it was coming.  super nice woman and an awesome manager.  i am lucky again as she trained my current manager. lots of tears in the Resource Pool break area as i arrived to work last night.
 PICU.  i have been an RN since 1993.  the first years i was not in ICU/PICU settings but the bulk of my days as a nurse i have been.  knock on wood but i have never had a patient accidently remove their endotrach tube. i am careful...and lucky too i'd guess.  anyway.  the parent was not happy that i insisted on having the current to the room open all night so i could watch her kid.  it is amazing.  people seem to forget that i am not there for their comfort primarily. i am there to take care of their sick loved one.  no matter how good i cared for her kid all that lady and her friend will remember about me is how mean i was for insisting the curtain stay open which disturbed her sleep.
 i am pro-life...i decided...not what you think. i'm taking it back from the anti abortion folks who claim to be pro-life yet seem to care less about those lives once they are out of the womb.  i am not pro-abortion.  nobody really is pro-abortion.  we would all rather not have this happen.  we'd rather have people have access to quality medical care and birth control to avoid the pregnancy in the first place.  i'd like to say i would never have an abortion but i have learned in life to never say never.  i'm old now so it's a moot point.  how would i have felt if i had been brutally raped and ended up pregnant....not sure i would want to be carrying that child nor would i want to live with risk that i would birth a person with genes of that person.
 those who claim to be pro life often act superior...there but for the grace of God go I.  people in general do not rush to abortions nor do most use it repeatedly as a form of birth control..there are always going to be those horrible folks who do get serial abortions...but is that someone you would want being a parent really.
 when is it life?  semantics...i would agree that once an egg and a sperm get together it is a zygote, DNA slated to human.  existence outside the womb possible...i'm for a cut off in general unless there is risk to parent or extreme unsurvivable issues with the fetus. again. i have no idea what i would do in any particular situation but i would rather leave that up to the individual in the situation..and hopefully her partner or family and friends to help guide her.
 a common refrain in the scriptures i read growing up was do not judge.  i've come to believe we are encouraged to not judge because there is just too much that is beyond our understanding.  i feel we all have lessons to learn in this life and ways may be created to help us learn those lessons.
 i think in some ways my Mormon upbringing made transitioning to another Christian based church difficult.  there are some beliefs in Mormonism that do not jive with mainstream churches that i think i have hung on to in one form or another.  one is this idea of prelife...i guess i tend to blend in some of the teachings of Bhudda...that perhaps we return and learn other lessons.  in this way i guess for me.  i feel if that fetus is aborted, it's more science based. a fetus is aborted.  the soul is what matters i suspect a soul can inhabit a multitude of fetuses.  i have sensed in patients that they had a soul and then other times like the other day you look in the patients eyes and they are "dead"...don't know how else to describe that.  the soul is there or it is not.  our bodies are just vessels.  do not get too attached to them.  they just house the soul.  that is how i work out the debate personally.  i have no idea when a soul would enter a fetus, but a soul can just as easily leave a fetus and move on. the act is distasteful i would agree and it's always better to avoid an unwanted pregnancy than to abort one.
 so anyway.  i have been pissed these past weeks as many Drumpf supporters seem to continue to believe that he and the GOP represent Gods return to America and the White house.  one such person i did shoot down a bit.  i informed her that i do not believe that my prayers have not been heard these past 8 years.  that i believe God never left America.  that God is present and we can pray and be heard no matter if we are Democrat or Republican or whatever you believe. whether you believe in God or not..if there is a God that God is available to answer prayers....
 this man who claims to grab and kiss women just because he can because he's a star.  this man is not in my mind some man of God.  that is offensive...he has done nothing in my opinion to have earned respect as a religious leader for the masses.
 the refugees and many who are trying to come here or other places to get out of terrible situations with horrible leaders are suffering and we all should be compassionate and accepting and attempting to help those that we can.  for the most part they are individuals like you and i, trying to get through their days, find a slice of happiness. work, raise kids....anytime you reach out there is risk...but i suspect God wants you to help anyway.  to just look away and ignore the fact that these people are dying and suffering and do nothing is beyond pale.  we have been blessed with much and where much is given much is expected.  there are many in the Drumpf camp that are cheering this ban due to fear and being poorly informed.
 they must be freaking out too thinking they were coming to America to start and new life in some peace only to discover that we have elected a fruitcake into the office and we may be on the verge of civil war ourselves.
 we have a global responsibility. no terrorist attacks on American soil due to refugees.  is it possible, of course it is.  we could die so many ways...every day but most of the time we die due to illness or old age. we turned away Jews who ultimately died in concentration camps due to our being scared.  this is history.  we must, as individuals, always strive to be on the right side of history.
 being a nice person back when Hitler rose to power often ended up meaning not involving yourself.  sometimes in this world you have to not be nice.  you have to fight like hell.  sometimes all a woman has is being a bitch...that is a line from a movie. being nice is good at the check out line or when you are driving in traffic, but if someone will die due to a not well thought out stroke of a pen then being nice is not the best plan.  the Governor of Washington State spoke and he was pissed. liked him.  he was saying to sign this into action without any sort of plan or warning is nuts.  wake up...this man is not good for our nation.
 give him a chance...we are long past that already.  the signs were there for months.  these signs have only grown more clear these past weeks.
 good snuggle time with the pups.  they are good at that for sure.
 will have to stop my rant soon and head to bed.  this constant underlying anxiety is stressful.  i know many feel the same.  i'm sure many are speaking to their physicians about this stress brought on by this POTUS, who to many of us seems clearly incapable.  will i be happy with him if some jobs return...doubtful, not if Iraqi interpreters and their families die, not if we do not do our part to help with those who are less fortunate and in dangerous situations, not if we don't let folks have basic medical care, not if the epa is disbanded, not if pipelines go through despite the will of the people, not if the arts are cut, not if the walrus are harmed, not if scientists are not allowed to do what they are trained to do.  not if global warming is not continued to be seen as an issue that we need to address, not if we continue to run our nation to benefit the top 1%,not if that top 1% remain selfish and greed driven....does that answer that enough for you?
 lots of eagles out waiting for the fish to return.  not many fish when we were there, but we did have plenty of bear, wolf and eagle sightings.

 a young bald eagle
 bear and bald eagle tracks.  those eagles are pretty big

 front and back paw prints.

 all the fresh tracks totally cool everywhere.  may this land be kept safe, may peace return.  may the best thing that comes from this failed Presidency be that we eventually make inroads on this divide.
 hungry now.  may have to have a quick snack before i crash.

 thanks for either ignoring my rant or reading it.  i suspect those who think differently from myself on many of these issues have long ago stopped reading my blog.
grateful for:  A.  that i still am enjoying freedom of speech  B.  that i have enjoyed a relatively stress free and easy life to this point  C.  that i have like minded friends that allow me to vent.  we do need to have Drumpf support help us all cope

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