Thursday, December 4, 2014

 went back to check on our critter tree.  part of me worried there would be some angry note from a fellow trail user saying they'd been run down by a moose or saw a bear there.  everything looked fine though.
 i'm on call.  probably shouldn't have taken an on call as i need all my time for surgery, but was hoping i'd get called in.  the night is young still.  if it gets too late though i will just be behind instead of ahead like i'd hoped.  felt tired and had a headache all day so it was easy to say yes.  battling a large knot.  probably stressed and my OB-GYN appointment didn't help much.  my doc, who is way too serious anyway, got serious during my exam and after that exam moved me to another room for another exam.  i have what is probably some pretty impressive fibroids...of course it could also be some sort of cancer.  most likely not...
 for as common as they make cancer out to be it's not always the first thing that is wrong.  of course, i had no idea this was happening in my friendly uterus so now i am imaging all the symptoms that i never noticed before.  probably symptoms that happened from having a probe irritating said fibroids.  thankfully his nurse has a sense of humor.  a few times i have debated changing doc just because of his lack of humor...silly i know, but in life it's best to be able to make some light of stuff.  once, for some reason he asked me if my vagina had any complaints...seemed a strange way to phrase a question so i responded that yes it did...lack of use.  he obviously didn't see the humor in it and instead made some comment about him being sure i'd find a partner. turned something funny into some sort of pity moment.
 as he probed away i joked with the nurse about the possibility of him finding a fetus...i was sure i was not a candidate for immaculate conception...then we moved onto calcified fetuses.  his seriousness made me nervous and i needed to hear some relaxed laughter.  don't get me wrong, he's a nice guy and good doc, but lighten up dude!!
 did have some fun discussing this all with my sister on the phone earlier.  excuse me...i need to discuss this with my vagina...i'll get back to you.  i don't ask how is your penis feeling today about this?  does your colon have anything to add?
 called to get the paperwork for FMLA, which really just means that this surgery won't count as an sick day and count against me.
 of course, i looked in my mirror several times i look like a person who has uterine cancer...?  do i look paler than normal, am i eating different?  do i have stomach pain?  i do look pale, but we have very little sunlight right now and everyone in Alaska who is white and not tanning looks pale as well.
 just stuff that you never thought of as a least i was lucky enough not to ever have to think about.
 my night last night was split between two units. i started out in the Renal Care unit and then got shifted to ER.  seemed like a short night though once i got to the ER life got much busier.
 so on the cancer front...i'm supposed to go back for more probing in 3 months to see which way these growths are going.  from what i have read fibroids are pretty common.  i have enjoyed this peaceful existence with my uterus these past several months so i'm not happy that my uterus has betrayed me.
 that is part of this aging thing.  various body parts seem to demand attention that never required it before.
 will probably head back to bed and just soon as i fall asleep the phone should ring and i'll be off to work.
 i missed the best of this sunset as i was still on the trails and surrounded by trees. it looked very pink out there as i walked but sorry, no pics.  did drive up to see what was left of the sunset.  it did look peaceful with the clouds and light pink.
 Blossom is a velcro dog and below is her trying to get yet another stick out of her fur.
 Rio has been walking but i think this day she stayed home.  big sweet pup!
 another of the tree.  i ran out of time this day as well.  slept in too late and had that Doc appointment.  have heard from several folks that this winter has been tiring.  maybe because it was dark for so long we are all in a state of partial hibernation.  it's hard to fight once it takes you in.  the cloak of darkness is comforting and peaceful but it's hard to get much done when all you want to do is sleep.
 little bits of snow but we are all ready for a good dumping.  will probably happen the day i go to surgery.
 Blossom is enjoying chasing her frisbee.  winter sees the tennis balls get packed away more and the frisbees make their way to the trails.  lose too many tennis balls in the snow.
 she's pretty good at finding them but the frisbee is easier.  she's a good frisbee catcher anyway so good to keep that skill up
 you can see her way out there...she doesn't want to leave...more play time!!
 guess i better wrap this up.  can't settle down and relax too much when i'm on call.  the phone can ring at any moment...or not at all.
thankful for.  1... health, it's easy to take it for granted 2... options, so many just don't have them 3... family and friends, there when you need a laugh or just to talk.


  1. Well, my fingers will be crossed for you over the next three months. I know that scare and hate it. AS for the dark, it was the lack of snow, we're having a similar winter and it's starting to bug me too.

  2. I hate it when people take a self-deprecating joke and turn it into something serious. No, I wasn't fishing for compliments or reassurance, I was just trying to be funny.